


Masquerade

by thefutureisequalaf



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Slow Burn, aplenty, ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-22
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-03 23:03:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12757965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefutureisequalaf/pseuds/thefutureisequalaf
Summary: Kara Danvers knew she ought to face her feelings for Lena head-on, but she was scared. She couldn’t risk her friendship with Lena Luthor.Sounds like a job for Supergirl.Or, the one where Kara tries dating Lena as Supergirl, 'cause that'stotallyless risky than doing it as herself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set after 2x08 “Medusa”. It seemed to me that Supergirl and Lena would have some issues to work through after the events of that episode, so the tone of this story starts out pretty serious.
> 
> My immense, overflowing thanks to [into-outof](http://archiveofourown.org/users/intooutof/pseuds/intooutof) and [potstickermaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/potstickermaster) for beta-reading this story! Go and read their works, for they are awesome.

_“I know what it’s like to be disillusioned by our parents, but I’m a pretty good judge of character and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous and you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own hero.”_

_Lena was unmoved. “You can leave the same way you came in.”_

* * *

Lena Luthor had played her. She’d played everyone. She’d played her own mother. Kara could scarcely believe it. That the woman had it in her was frightening. Looking back, Kara knew Lena’s disbelief about her mother had been an act from the start. The moment Kara told her, Lena had formed her plan. A scary plan. An arrogant plan.

Kara had to admit it had been a good plan.

Despite the lingering sting from Lena’s scathing rejection, the woman deserved a thank-you and Kara never left one unspoken. When Lena entered her office the next morning, Supergirl was waiting on the balcony. “You saved the day.”

Lena smiled modestly. “I don’t think I’ve heard that before.”

“Well, you earned it. Thank you.”

“You did tell me to be my own hero.”

Kara sighed. “Why didn’t you just tell me what you were doing?”

“Would you have gone along with it?”

“No.”

Lena tilted her head and smiled. “Then I’m glad we were able to work together again.”

Despite a spark of resentment, Kara contained her feelings. “Goodbye, Miss Luthor.”

As she flew away, Kara shook her head at Lena. Kara wouldn’t describe yesterday’s events as ‘working together’. Lena had gone rogue, running her own plan that didn’t involve – _oh._ Of course, Lena knew she’d need Supergirl to take out whatever minions Lillian brought with her. If Kara and J’onn hadn’t, the police couldn’t have made the arrest. All part of the plan. She shook her head again. Calculating, arrogant…but strong and brave as well.

She’d felt like Lena hadn’t trusted her, but maybe she was the one who’d underestimated the other.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Kara was ushered into Lena’s office through the proper door.

“Kara, what took you so long?” Lena rose to greet the reporter, smiling from ear to ear. “I was sure you’d be waiting for me when I got here. I had to stall eight different publications to let you in first.”

Kara couldn’t help but smile back as they sat on the couch. “I got held up at CatCo.”

Lena chuckled. “It’s okay, you can say you were interviewing Supergirl.”

Kara ducked her head and adjusted her glasses, then remembered she was a reporter and cleared her throat. “She told me you shut her out of your plan. Why?”

“Because I didn’t think she trusted me. She would probably have thought I wouldn’t actually switch out the isotope. Just this morning, she told me she wouldn’t have gone along with it.”

Kara swallowed. “Off the record, she also said you were harsh and bitter about it.”

Lena sighed. “It would’ve wasted precious time if she’d kept trying to get through to me. I had to shut the door hard so she’d go after my mother.”

“So you manipulated her.”

Lena picked up a glass of something clear and took a long drink. “Yes, I manipulated Supergirl. It’s the price I paid for nailing Lillian.”

Kara tilted her head. Something in Lena’s tone made her sympathetic. “The price you paid?”

“For two minutes, I went full Luthor on the best person in the city. Do you think that didn’t hurt? I felt like I was gutting everything I want to stand for.”

“There must’ve been another way.”

Lena gave a small shake of her head. “There were several other ways. All of them either required Supergirl to trust me implicitly or risked my mother escaping justice. I had one chance and I couldn’t count on Supergirl. I had to do it my way.”

Lena’s words were an icy dagger to the heart. Kara had to shut her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Kara searched for words. “That…you had to go through this alone.”

Lena huffed. “It’s something I have a lot of experience with. I’ve gotten pretty good at it.”

“No, but…” Kara took her hand. “You shouldn’t need to. You deserve to have friends alongside you.”

Lena turned skeptical. “I deserve to?”

“I think so. That’s why I’m here.”

Lena eyed her. “Would you have trusted me?” Kara tried to meet her gaze, but couldn’t. Lena sighed. “I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t trust a Luthor with that many alien lives.”

“No, it’s…” Kara shut her eyes again. That’s exactly what it was. “I would now, Lena.”

“Let’s hope you never need to. Now, do you want some quotes?”

Kara rolled her tongue around her mouth. “One more thing. I think…you should talk to Supergirl.”

“She was here this morning, Kara. Didn’t she tell you?”

“I mean, tell her what you told me.” Lena cocked her head, considering her suggestion. “You two might be the most powerful people in the city,” Kara continued. “Maybe you need to learn to cooperate.”

“We’ve been doing well so far.”

“Then imagine how much stronger you could be together.”

* * *

When Supergirl landed on Lena’s balcony that evening, the executive was waiting for her. “Thank you for coming.”

“Kara said you wanted to talk?”

Lena chuckled humorlessly. “She would. No, I don’t want to talk, but I’m going to. Let’s sit.” She led Kara inside to the couch, where the girl of steel tried not to look too familiar. “Supergirl…if there are two things I’m bad at, they're trusting people and saying I’m sorry. I’m going to try both.” She looked at the floor and sighed. “When you came here yesterday, I – no, I should be making eye contact. When you came here yesterday,” she resumed, “I believed you.”

Kara nodded. “I know.”

“Please, let me say my piece. I believed you and I saw an opportunity. If I helped you find my mother, you would get the praise for bringing her in. If I did it myself, people would see me fighting against the ‘bad’ Luthors. I wanted the credit for stopping my mother’s genocide.”

That drew a frown. “That’s not what you told Kara.”

“I’m not finished, but yes, I left out that part of the truth.”

“Why?”

“Because I was afraid it would sound selfish.” Lena frowned. “Kara shouldn’t have spoken for me.”

“Sorry, she…she really believes in you. She couldn’t help standing up for you.”

Lena cocked her head. “Did she need to? With you, I mean.”

Kara bit the inside of her cheek. “Lena, what you said to me yesterday hurt. Can you blame me for being down on you?”

Lena smiled. “No, but you just called me ‘Lena’, so there’s hope. The second thing I realized when you talked to me,” she continued, “was that I only had one chance to take down my mother, so I had to make it stick. By keeping you away from her, I gave the police the best case against her they could ask for. They caught her after she’d attempted to murder thousands, not before. If I'd helped you catch her when you came to me, they’d charge her with conspiracy to commit murder and have a much more difficult case to make.” Lena paused. “All of that, you could've been part of. I would much rather have told you where to wait for my mother and her cyborg than hope you’d find us yourself. The third thing I realized was that you wouldn’t trust me. I still needed you there at the end, so I got rid of you as fast as possible. You had no time to waste if you were going to track her down. That’s why I refused to help you find my mother. As for what I said, I’m sorry that I had to. I didn’t mean a word of it.”

Despite herself, Kara’s jaw was set. “You sounded like you did.”

“I’m a Luthor. I know how to manipulate people.”

“You still said it to hurt me, just so you could improve your image.”

“Aren’t you listening? I said it because I didn’t have room for someone who doesn’t trust me. Tell me this, Supergirl: does it matter who stopped my mother?”

“No, but your motivation matters to me. You didn’t just do the right thing, you wanted to be seen doing the right thing.”

Lena’s eyes widened. “You fly around in a bright red cape. Don’t lecture me about wanting to be seen.”

“That’s not the same-”

“If you simply wanted to help people, you would, without the theatrics. You want to be a hero. All I want is to not be a villain. Is that really so much to ask?”

Kara pursed her lips.

“I can’t blow out fires or stop bullets with my chest. I have to make my own opportunities to prove myself. That’s what I did yesterday.”

Kara nodded slowly. “You haven’t said anything about rendering the warhead inert. Was that a reason for excluding me?”

Lena shook her head. “No, I could’ve pointed you towards my mother and still gone with her to do that.”

Kara sat back and stared out the window. “You do think of everything.”

“It’s the chess.” Lena gestured at the board on the coffee table. “I see everything through the lens of strategy.”

“Do you see Kara that way?” Supergirl asked quietly.

“I used to.” At that, Kara looked back. “When she came into my office with Clark Kent, she was another connection to be cultivated. Now, she’s…she’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a friend.”

“Is she not your friend?”

Lena sighed. “She’s a very good friend. I’m just unaccustomed to believing I have them.”

“She thinks very highly of you.”

Lena chuckled. “Do you think she’s right?”

“I think…I stand behind what I said yesterday.”

Lena gave a small smile. “I almost broke character when you said that to me. It meant a lot. You’re only the second person to believe in me, Supergirl.”

For the first time that evening, Kara smiled, too. “The first of many, I’m sure.”

Lena’s smile widened. “Does that mean you’re through grilling me?”

“It does. Miss Luthor, you’re complicated, but I can work with that.”

“That's all I ask for. Can I get you a drink?”

Kara glanced out the glass at the city's night lights. “Isn’t it getting late?”

“I won't keep you, if you need to go.”

Kara bit her lip. She was just starting to enjoy Lena's company. “I should, but let’s do this again sometime.” They stood and Lena walked with her to the balcony. “And Lena – I forgive you.”

Lena’s eyes went soft. “I don’t hear that very often, either.”

Supergirl rejected her reservations and hugged her.

* * *

Kara lay down to sleep, but her mind buzzed with thoughts of the past day. Lena had opened up a part of herself to Supergirl that she hadn’t shared with Kara Danvers. Was she reaching out or was it another move in a grand strategy? Kara sighed. How do you trust someone when you know any move they make could be a calculated play towards some unknown goal?

All she had to go on was her judgement of Lena's character. Lena had proved her right about the life-or-death aspects of her character, but everything else? She'd formed a plan to save the city which involved basically slapping Supergirl in the face, and then carried it out without a second thought.

Except she'd had second thoughts. Lena had shown real pain in her conversation with Kara Danvers. The woman had a heart. And really, could she blame her for what she did? Lena was trying to escape the worst reputation in living memory. She was right, she did need to make her own opportunities. She was also right that she'd given the city prosecutors the strongest possible case against her mother. And she was right, Supergirl hadn't trusted her.

But maybe she could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I'm off to a good start. Comments welcome :)


	2. Chapter 2

A week passed before Kara found another excuse to visit Lena. Maggie had mentioned something about the NCPD being interested in alien-identifying equipment, which had to mean L-Corp’s device. It sounded like a story. Kara went after it.

“Yes,” Lena told her, as Kara settled in front of her desk, “you heard right, law enforcement is interested in our technology. Incidentally, I’ve decided to cancel the consumer roll-out of the device.”

Kara’s eyebrows skyrocketed. “You have?!”

“I’ve had some time to think about it. There are too many people, like my mother, who see aliens among us as an us-versus-them situation. If I want to move L-Corp away from my family’s history, then I can’t enable that kind of thinking.”

“There’s my quote.” Kara tried not to look too pleased. “So you’re giving up your commercial plans?”

“Our consumer plans,” Lena corrected.

Kara cocked her head. “What’s the distinction?”

Lena gave that calculating smile. “Off the record?” Kara nodded. “We’re going to ruggedize the device, multiply the unit price by ten, and sell to the government. On the record, extraterrestrials now have the same rights as any persons in the U.S., but police departments need to know if a suspect can break out of a regular jail. How about if a hospital receives an unconscious patient without any identification? Or what if a human illegal immigrant seeks amnesty by claiming to be a literal alien? Do you want to see our refugee program abused?”

Kara bit her lip. “No…”

“I know I just opened a new can of worms, but our government needs the capability to sort people into the channels defined by Congress. L-Corp will provide that capability.”

Kara smiled. “There another quote.”

Lena smiled back. “I prefer the one about my family’s legacy.”

“It’ll be near the top,” Kara promised. She stood to leave.

“So soon?” Kara saw a glimmer of disappointment behind Lena’s charming expression. “I’ve missed you.”

Kara ducked her head and adjusted her glasses. “That article isn’t going to write itself.”

Lena heaved a dramatic sigh. “Fine, leave me to my mountain of work.”

Kara giggled. “You know I’ll be back.”

Lena smiled. “I do. Goodbye, Kara.”

* * *

It went on like that. Their paths didn’t cross as often as Kara liked, but every time they did, she liked it more. Lena was warm, honest, intelligent, and genuine about doing right by the people of National City. Kara wanted to be around her. She started stopping by her office for no other reason, bringing snacks and enjoying a few minutes of Lena’s company. On one such occasion, three weeks after the Medusa incident, Lena dropped a question. “Has Supergirl said anything about me?”

It threw Kara. “Uh…”

“It’s okay, I wouldn’t expect her to. She implied that she’d visit me again, but I suppose she has enough to keep her busy.”

Kara had her wits mostly together. “I-I could mention it, next time I talk to her.”

Lena waved a hand. “No, please don’t bother her. If she wanted to fit me into her day, she would. I respect that.”

“No-” Kara caught herself. “Okay, I won't – but, Lena, if Supergirl said something, then she meant it.”

Lena offered a halfhearted smile. “Did you come to ask me about something?”

* * *

Kara waited four days – four long days – before visiting Lena as Supergirl. She wanted Lena to think it wasn't Kara Danvers’s idea. She had two relationships to maintain, she realized.

The swoosh of her landing turned Lena around in her chair. The executive stood and came out to the balcony. “You look impressive, silhouetted against the evening sky. Very dramatic.”

Kara smiled. “Thank you. I regret not coming to see you sooner.”

“Well, you’re always welcome. Come in, make yourself comfortable. I still owe you a drink from last time. What will you have?”

Kara went to the couch. “Just water would be great.”

Lena smirked. “Don’t drink and fly?”

“Actually, alcohol doesn’t affect me. I’m just thirsty.”

Lena poured two glasses of water and joined her. “Am I right that this is a social visit?”

“It is,” Kara confirmed, smiling. “How are you, Lena?”

“We’ll come back to that. Are you sure there isn't any business you want to get out of the way? Nagging questions for the Luthor daughter?”

Kara started to shake her head, but stopped. She realized she had one. “What are your plans for the city?”

“My plans for the city?” Lena’s smile could only be described as disarming. “That sounds like I’m plotting something. Supergirl, I don’t have plans for the city. I have plans for my business. I plan to make money by meeting people’s needs and catering to their wants.”

“Is that all?”

“Is it so hard to believe?”

“Don’t you have a vision for how society will change as a result?”

“Ahh.” Lena took a sip of her drink. “Does the Luthor intend to reshape the world to her liking? No, Supergirl, she doesn’t. This Luthor only wants to provide the resources and tools for people to shape their own lives.”

Kara couldn’t help herself. “Like the alien detector?”

Lena shrugged. “I realize now that I retained an irrational distrust of aliens after the conflict between Superman and my brother. It was a blind spot and I eliminated it.” She smiled. “Partly thanks to you. Anything else?”

Kara had come to be friendly, but things kept popping to her mind. “How do I know you won't play me again? You've kept me in the dark about your plans twice now.”

“Supergirl, we either trust each other or we don’t. If we do, I'll include you. If we don’t, I'll continue playing you, as you put it.”

Kara frowned. “How will I ever know the difference?”

“You won't ever know. You'll trust. That’s how trust works.”

Kara sat back a little, opening some space between them. “You are on another level.”

Lena put her glass down. “Then where are you? Our paths don’t cross when you’re rescuing kittens and blowing out garage fires. We only meet when lethal technology is in play. The stakes will always be too high for one of us to take a chance on the other. We only can cooperate if we trust each other completely, without hesitation. Do you have it in you to do that?”

Kara stared. “Rao, you play for keeps.”

Lena stared back. “People’s lives were on the line at my fundraiser, they were on the line with Medusa, and they'll be on the line whenever the next emergency arises. Do you expect me to approach our relationship with anything less than deadly seriousness?”

“I expected to approach our relationship as a friendship.”

Lena closed her eyes and took a long, slow breath. “That’s also how trust works, isn't it.” The way she said it, it wasn’t a question. “Did I mention that I'm new at having friends?”

Kara felt her tension subsiding. “You did.”

Lena smiled. “How about we start over from ‘How are you'?”

Kara got comfortable again. “How are you, Lena?”

“I'm doing well, thank you. The sensor module for our ruggedized alien scanner passed qualification tests for shock and vibration today. We're also integrating an optional key system so that it can't be used without authorization. How about you, Supergirl?”

“I’m good. My boss finally respects me. I helped a lot of people today…” Kara trailed off, unsure what Supergirl ought to talk about.

Lena intervened. “Did you have chess on Krypton?”

“Chess?” Kara repeated, suddenly feeling on her heels. “We had a couple games like it.”

“Did you enjoy them?”

“I was decent…” Kara's confidence evaporated. “If we play, you'll crush me. Like, are you even capable of going easy on me?”

Lena laughed lightly. “How about this: you can take as long as you want to make each move. I'll play on a thirty second timer.”

Kara's jaw hung open. “Are those fair odds?”

Lena grinned. “I have no idea. Only one way to find out, right?”

Her grin was infectious; Kara couldn’t bring herself to say no. “Alright. We'll try it.”

“Wonderful. Let's sit at my desk.” Lena picked up the chessboard and brought it with them. Turning the board so the white pieces were towards Kara, she cocked an eyebrow. “Your move, Supergirl.” Kara set her tongue between her teeth and advanced a pawn. Lena set a timer on her phone, then made her move.

Sixteen moves in, Kara felt the pressure like a physical weight. She told herself that she’d taken six pieces while Lena had only taken four, but it didn’t feel reassuring. She examined the board, doing her best to plot moves and countermoves. It was hard, she was a decade out of practice, and she was playing Lena freaking Luthor. Still, she found a move that satisfied her. She put her fingers on her bishop – and heard Lena's heart beat faster. Was that excitement or fear? Kara searched Lena for any clues, but her poker face was too good. She looked at the board, trying again to visualize the next moves. If she moved her bishop there…Kara pulled her hand back. “You almost had me. Six moves to checkmate.”

Lena smiled smugly. “Four.”

Kara's eyes widened. “How?”

Lena picked up her phone and took a picture of the board. “Let’s play it like you decided to move your bishop.” Kara nodded and made the move. Surely, since she knew what was coming…

Too late, she saw it. “Oh, no.”

Lena made her last move. “Mate.”

Kara shook her head, dazed. “How did I miss that?”

“When you look at my options, you focus on what I can attack. You miss the subtle possibilities. It was actually the move before your bishop,” Lena put the pieces back and showed her again; “the rook one square to the left, which you didn’t consider because it was a small move and didn’t put any of your pieces in danger. It was a trap. Four moves later, that rook cut off your king's retreat.”

“You are,” Kara said in an awed voice, “really good at this.”

Lena smiled appreciatively. “Want to go back and keep playing?”

Kara smirked. Her escape from Lena’s trap felt like a victory. “Oh, yes.”

* * *

In the end, listening to Lena's heart and breathing only made her eventual defeat feel that much more inescapable. She tipped her king over and sighed. “It’s not like I was ever going to beat you.”

Lena smiled. “I’m actually pleasantly surprised. Sure, you're inexperienced and too aggressive, but you've got a good sense for when you're walking into a trap. Four different times, I was sure I had you, but you escaped my net.”

Kara couldn’t help herself. She grinned. “I was listening to your heartbeat.”

Lena laughed a richer, longer laugh than Kara had yet heard. “And I lecture you on missing the possibilities. I walked right into that one.”

Kara shrugged and smiled. “You were eager to share your game with me. I really appreciate that, Lena.”

“That was the first time I've played someone since Lex…well. Thank you.”

Kara stood and circled around the desk. “Come ‘ere, let me hug you.”

Lena rose, asking, “Does that mean you’re leaving?”

Kara paused. “I didn’t think that far. I just want to hug you.”

“Sorry. Don't let me stop you.”

Supergirl embraced her. “I truly admire the way you’re overcoming your family’s legacy.”

Lena sniffed. “You give really good hugs.”

Kara looked over Lena's shoulder at her desk clock and sighed. “I do need to go. I’ll try to come by more often.”

Stepping back, Lena smiled. “I look forward to it.”

* * *

Mere seconds after she was away, Kara's phone rang. She landed on the nearest roof and was amazed by the name on the screen. “Lena! What’s up?”

_“Kara, I know it's late, but I just had to call you. You’re not going to believe this; I just played chess with Supergirl.”_

Kara stepped back into her Danvers shoes. “No way! That's awesome!”

_“I know, right? I really think we bonded.”_

“That’s great! Who won?”

Lena’s voice was dismissive. _“I did, but that wasn’t the point. The point is that we're becoming friends, I hope.”_

“I am so glad to hear that. You two will make a great team.”

_“I hope so. Besides, now I have two friends in National City.”_

Kara felt a twinge of guilt. “Aww, Lena. You deserve so much better.”

The noise Lena made sounded like a mixture of appreciation and disbelief. _“I'll let you go. See you soon, Kara?”_

“See you soon. Good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To any chess experts, I apologize. I hope the rest of you enjoyed! Comments encouraged :)
> 
> P.S. I want to update this on a regular schedule, so if you have an opinion on dates and times, let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 212 "Luthors"

_“Well, Supergirl may have saved me but, Kara Danvers, you are my hero.”_

She had come within a hair's breadth of losing Lena. When Kara finally had time to settle down, a feeling of shock rolled over her. Supergirl had saved Lena by mere seconds. _Seconds._ Picturing her life without Lena in it…the thought physically hurt. She was so warm, so _good._ Kara wanted to hold onto her and never let her go.

In the morning, she woke up thinking about Lena. She got dressed and went to work, still thinking about Lena. To imagine, if she never got to see that smile again, look into those eyes again…

Kara realized she'd been staring into space at her desk. She stood and headed for the restroom, took off her glasses, and looked at herself in the mirror. There was no point in denying it. She had a crush on Lena Luthor.

What in the universe was she going to do?

Lena Luthor. Why did she have to have a crush on _Lena Luthor?_ The woman lived four moves ahead of everyone else. All she had to do to exude power was compose her face a certain way. That she, a CEO, was friends with a junior reporter was practically a miracle.

Kara _could not_ handle it. How do you even date a Luthor? What was she supposed to do, invite the CEO of L-Corp to Noonan's? To game night? Okay, maybe those weren’t entirely terrible ideas, but…but…how do you tell _Lena Luthor_ that you want to be more than friends? What if she said no? What if it didn’t work out? Kara didn’t want to lose her best friend. She didn’t want Lena to lose her _only_ friend. It was too much. There was no way. Kara Danvers could not date Lena Luthor.

Putting it in those words, however, gave her a very, very bad idea.

* * *

Kara picked a day when she knew Lena would be out for lunch. She flew to the balcony, leaned on the glass railing, and waited for her to return. Lena had an impressive view. Kara wondered why her desk faced away from it. 

She heard the office doors open, heard footsteps stop, then resume, coming towards her. Kara didn’t turn. “Nice view. Almost as good as flying.”

Lena chuckled. “What brings you here, Supergirl?”

Kara straightened and faced her. “You.”

Lena raised an eyebrow. “Me?”

“I’d like to have dinner together tonight.”

Lena's other eyebrow joined the first. “Dinner?” She said in an amused voice. “What, would you just make a reservation for ‘Supergirl, party of two’?”

“How about we take our own dinner somewhere private?”

Lena tilted her head. “I'm intrigued. Tell me more.”

“I would get us carry-out, then meet you here and carry you out. We’d fly to the state park upriver and find a secluded spot to settle in. Eat, talk, watch the sunset…”

Lena folded her arms and leaned casually against the glass wall of her office. “What would you talk about? Can you tell me about your day job or your private life without giving yourself away?”

Kara stepped closer, eyes glittering. “Who says I don’t want you to know?”

“You do, by not telling me.”

Kara smirked. “There’s got to be some mystery, right? Besides, you’re the smartest person I know. How long could I keep it from you?”

“Oh? The smartest person you know as Supergirl or the smartest you know as yourself?”

Kara leaned close to Lena’s ear and dropped her voice. _“Now that would be playing fair, wouldn’t it?”_

Lena bit her lip. “Alright, Supergirl. Meet me here at five forty.”

“If I'm not here by five forty-five, it's because the world needs saving.” Kara launched herself into the air and flew back to Catco. Her mind was a rush of thrilled disbelief. Lena said yes! She hadn’t made a fool of herself! She'd been alluring! Kara Danvers pulled off _alluring!_ She couldn’t wait to tell Alex-

No, she could definitely wait to tell Alex. Nothing about this would receive the Alex Danvers seal of approval. That was probably a warning sign, but Alex didn’t know Lena like she did. Lena was worth it.

In a few minutes, she realized Lena was also right; she didn’t have much she could share. Lena had already been to her apartment and met Alex. Work was too obvious, too; the moment she told Lena she was a reporter, the game would be up. That only left Supergirl, but she couldn't talk about the DEO.

She was so screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter, I know, but I hope you're enjoying :) As always, comments are encouraged.


	4. Chapter 4

Maybe Supergirl didn't know how to talk to Lena, but Kara Danvers knew how to write and organize. She started compiling all the things she could share without giving herself away. She could talk about Krypton without reservations. She could talk about growing up on Earth, if she left out places and names. She could talk about being Supergirl: what it meant, what was easy, what was hard. When she thought about it, she realized she hadn’t shared many of her interests and favorite things with Lena, either. That was enough to get her through one date. No use getting ahead of herself, anyway.

Kara went to her fourth favorite restaurant, a Thai place on the far side of town, to get dinner for their date. Caution meant forgoing potstickers, but that was a small price to pay – okay, it was a large price to pay, but still. Flying to the L-Corp building, she found Lena waiting for her. There, she got a shock; Lena wore jeans. “Did you change?” Kara asked. She knew it was a silly question, but she was stunned to see Lena in anything other than exquisite designer attire.

“You said we were going to a park,” Lena pointed out. “It’s good to see you too, Supergirl.”

“Sorry.” Kara smiled wide. “I’m happy you chose to spend your evening with me. Shall we go?”

Lena nodded. “How does one fly with Supergirl?”

“I pick you up in my arms and carry you.”

Lena smirked. “A bridal carry on the first date?”

“Would you rather stand and cling to me like a koala?”

Lena laughed. “Fine, then, have it your way.” Kara scooped her up in her arms, cradling her gently. Lena frowned. “If you're going to fly me like this, you had better hold tighter than that.”

Kara held tighter. “Better?”

“Much. Ready when you are.”

Kara bent her legs, preparing to spring into the sky, but thought better of it. Gentle was the right choice. She rose slowly, keeping a close eye on Lena's body language, and set off.

* * *

~~~~“Ground rules,” Supergirl said, after setting Lena down and sitting with her. “I won’t talk about my day job.”

Lena nodded. “Okay. What else?”

“Trust that if I give you a partial answer, I’m telling you everything I can.”

“Alright.”

“That's all.”

Lena smiled. “Shall we see what you brought us for dinner?”

Kara lifted the boxes from the bag. “Thai. I got like six different entrées, so take whatever you want from each and I’ll eat the rest.”

Lena raised her eyebrows. “You’re going to eat all that?”

“My powers take energy, even when I’m not using them.”

“Did you have any of your powers on Krypton?”

“No, we were what you’d call normal. All of it has to do with radiation from Earth’s sun.”

Lena took a plate and began loading it with food. “The thing I wonder about – I mean, I wonder about all of it, but how do you not damage your eyes or get frostbite in your mouth?”

Kara chuckled. “I probably can’t get frostbite, but some of the best scientists on this planet have examined my eyes and they have no idea, either.”

“What was music like on Krypton?”

Kara paused. “Wow, that is a really interesting question.”

Lena smirked. “Thank you, I try.”

“It was different, but it wasn’t entirely different. We shared basic concepts like beats and rhythm and chords, but then we had nothing like major and minor scales. When my adoptive parents signed me up for piano lessons, the whole idea of key signatures drove me out of my mind. It just didn’t work that way back home. On the other hand, some of our music sounded a lot like Earth classical music, like we took different paths to the same place. And of course we sang, too. Singing is almost universal.”

Lena tilted her head. “Do you still think of Krypton as home?”

Kara’s eyes widened. “I…did I say that?”

“You did; ‘It didn’t work that way back home’.”

“Wow, I didn’t even notice.” She sighed. “I guess it depends on the context. If I’m talking about my apartment, that’s home. If I’m talking about my parents or my childhood on Earth, then their house is home. Then when you asked about Krypton, that was home.”

“You make it sound like home is wherever you’re not.”

Kara’s fork stopped on the way to her mouth. She set it back down. “I did not expect us to get this deep, this fast.”

“Is it okay?” Lena sounded concerned.

Kara realized that it was. “Yeah, actually. My sister is usually the only person I talk about this stuff with. This is good.”

Lena’s interest swelled. “You have a sister?”

“I do, an older sister. She did – still does – so much to make me feel welcome and loved. I couldn’t have adjusted to Earth without her.”

“It’s really interesting that you say that, because – you know I was adopted, too?” Kara nodded. “I had Lex as an older brother. He, more than anyone else, made me feel like I belonged, especially after my father died and I was stuck with just my mother.” Kara shuddered. “My feelings exactly,” Lena agreed. “When things with him went downhill…” She shook her head. “Home and family are almost foreign concepts to me. The closest thing I have to a home is my office. My apartment is just where I sleep.”

“Is work a way for you to cope with the hurt that’s been laid on you?”

“Is it that obvious?” Lena’s smile was wry and sad. “On one level, if I keep busy, I don’t have time to feel it. On another, it’s about…” Lena pursed her lips. “’Redemption’ sounds too grandiose.”

“Are you trying to prove yourself to yourself?” Kara asked.

“Something like that.”

Kara smiled, warm and sincere. “Well, you proved yourself to me.”

Lena looked down, then back up, and took in Kara’s expression. “Thank you.” She smiled. “You know, after the way you asked me out, I thought you would spend the whole evening flirting with me.”

For a second, Kara couldn’t speak, and then she laughed at herself. “I hope you’re not disappointed.”

Lena smiled. “Only slightly.”

“I’ll see what I can do for you. Also,” Kara pointed with her fork, “are you going to finish that?”

* * *

Kara felt Lena relax more during the flight back to National City. That was progress. Landing, she set Lena on her feet and smiled. “I had a wonderful evening with you, Lena.”

“I did, too.”

Kara smiled wider and moved closer, but Lena stiff-armed her. “Alright, Supergirl.” Lena was serious. “We had our fun. Now we need to talk. Why did you do this as Supergirl?”

“Why does anyone ask anyone out? I like you.”

Lena gave a small shake of her head. “On what basis? I'm a Luthor. We don't have secret admirers, we have secret nemeses.”

Kara had that answer ready. “Maybe I've seen you in a light that few people have ever looked for, Lena.”

Lena's smile didn't reach her eyes. “You avoided my real question.” Kara wet her lips. “I can think of two reasons,” Lena continued. “Either you don't have access to me as yourself or you don't want to make yourself vulnerable.”

“It's not because of your name.”

“That wasn’t one of the reasons. If you were afraid of that, you wouldn't get close to me at all. It's something else. Is it access? Because I’ll give it to you.”

Kara looked away.

“Then either you don't trust me or you don't trust yourself and, going by the way you talked tonight, it’s not me.”

“It’s not any of that, Lena.”

“Then what is it?” When Kara said nothing, Lena sighed. “You'll have to tell me who you are eventually.”

“I know,” Kara admitted.

“Well.” Lena folded her arms. “I'm willing to play along, for now, but this has consequences beyond us. What will it mean for the city if this ends badly?”

“For the city?” Kara repeated.

“If we keep going and one of us gets hurt, what then? We just started building trust between us. Aren't we putting that in jeopardy?”

Kara looked down and worked her jaw. Was this a dead end, too? Was there no way for either Kara to be with Lena Luthor? No, she wasn't going to give up now. She met Lena’s eyes with new confidence. “Lena, you’re worth it to me.”

“If this breaks down,” Lena warned, “we go back to me manipulating you whenever I need your help.”

“Am I worth it to you?”

Lena opened her mouth and shut it again, glanced down, and wet her lips. “That’s what worries me most. I'm beginning to feel like you are.”

“Lena.” Kara took a step forward, but Lena stopped her again.

“If we do this, we need perfect communication. There's no room for hurt feelings. If it doesn’t work out, we need to split amicably. Supergirl,” Lena said unsteadily, “I don’t…I don’t know if I'm that good a person.”

Kara’s eyes held firm. “I do.”

This time, Lena let Kara embrace her. Lena's hands on her back were unsure, as though she were in a new and alien world. Kara felt her jaw quiver against her shoulder. “People could die if we get this wrong.”

“We won't.”

Lena stepped back, swallowed, and nodded to herself. “Then let's start with communication. Right now, you can drop in on me but I have to go through Kara to reach you. That won't work.”

Kara shook her head. “Of course not.”

“There are ways to use two numbers with one phone. Set one up and give me the new number. That way, we can call and text like normal people.”

“I’ll do that. See you in a day or two?”

Lena smiled. “Don’t keep me waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments welcome! I love hearing what you think :)


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, while setting up her new phone number, Kara realized that Lena hadn’t called. She’d called after the chess game, but not after the date. Did that mean something? Was Lena just keeping her private life to herself, or was something changing in their friendship? Kara agonized over it.

She was still agonizing over it when Lena called. _“Kara?  There’s something personal I want to ask you about. Can you come by my office after work?”_

Fortunately, she could. “Yes, I'm free. What's on your mind?”

_“I’d rather explain in person, but it's about our mutual friend.”_

“Our mutual – oh. Sure thing. I can’t wait to see you!”

* * *

On the familiar couch in her office, Lena opened up. “I did something and now I'm questioning it. I went on a date with Supergirl.”

Kara tried to express both excitement and confusion. “Oh wow! How was it? What are you questioning?”

A smile played on Lena's lips. “It was amazing. My concern is that what we're doing isn't sustainable.”

“No?”

“I thought about it all morning. If it were me in her boots, I don’t think I could live with her only knowing part of me. I'm worried that I'm leading her in a direction which will only get her hurt.”

Kara's felt her face flash through several emotions before settling on a smirk. “You think you're leading Supergirl anywhere?”

Lena’s lips parted, then quirked into a wry smile. “Pardon me, I'm too accustomed to having power over people.”

Kara laughed. “Lena, it's great that you’re considering her perspective. That’s a good habit to form. In the end, though, she makes her own choices.”

Lena nodded. “I’m just concerned because I'm really…I think I really like her. I want this. My fear is that the more she sees me like her as Supergirl, the more reluctant she’ll be to reveal her identity.”

Kara tilted her head. “You think you’re feeding her insecurities?”

“Aren't I? Why couldn’t she come to me as herself?”

Kara bit her lip, reminding herself of her goal of protecting Lena’s only friendship. “She actually told me why. It's not insecurity.”

“She could be deceiving herself. What other reason could there be?”

Kara shook her head. “I really think that, if things work out and she tells you, you'll appreciate her caution. Personally, I’m more concerned about you. How will you respond when she tells you?”

“I think,” Lena said slowly, “I hope, that I'll be happy to have more of her to learn about, if that makes sense, and to have a more normal relationship with her.”

“I think,” Kara said with care, “that your best course is to focus on that and let Supergirl take care of her own heart.”

Lena relaxed and smiled. “I don't know what I'd do without you, Kara.” She pulled her into a seated hug. “Your friendship means the world to me.”

“You’ll always have it.” Kara grinned. “Now, tell me about your date!”

When Kara left Lena for the evening, she felt certain, for the first time, that she was doing the right thing.

* * *

Shortly thereafter, Supergirl dropped in. “I’ve got my phone set up for you. Ready for my number?”

Lena picked up her phone. “What should I call you in my contacts? Not Supergirl, obviously.”

“My family name is Zor-El.” Kara spelled it.

Lena looked up from typing. “Can you give me at least a first initial?”

Kara mulled it over. “How about ‘K’ for ‘Krypton’?”

“That works for me. Will you stay or must I wait for later?”

Kara smirked. “We both have jobs to do. Call me, maybe?”

“Count on it, Supergirl.”

* * *

When Alex arrived early for some sister time before game night, she immediately sensed a change. “You’re walking on air.”

Kara blinked at Alex. “I-I am?”

Alex gave her that look. “Don’t. Not with me.”

Kara wrestled with a smile. “I…went on a date.”

“With who?! And you didn’t tell me?”

Kara bit her lip and met Alex’s eyes. “I went as Supergirl.”

Alex gawked. “You did what? No, I need to sit down.” She went to the couch and Kara sat with her. “Explain to me how that’s a good idea.”

“Because Lena needs me as a friend-”

“You went out with Lena Luthor?!”

“Yes.”

“As _Supergirl?!”_

Kara sighed. “Alex-”

“Don’t ‘Alex’ me! How on Earth do you justify that to yourself?”

Kara stood firm under pressure. “Lena Luthor needs Kara Danvers more than I need a girlfriend.”

“So, what, are you taking her for a test drive?”

“It’s serious,” Kara insisted. “We’re both serious.”

“Even though she doesn’t know who you are?”

“Alex, we talked about Krypton. We talked about things I’ve only ever shared with you. She shared things about her childhood that I don’t think she’s ever told anyone. And she’s taking it seriously, Alex. She grilled me on what a breakup might mean for the city.”

Alex calmed down. “How do you know she’s not taking advantage of you?”

“Because of the way she hugged me.”

“The way she hugged you?”

“Everything she said could’ve been plotted, but not that. Not the way she put her hands on my back. She was nervous, Alex. She’s facing something new, emotionally.”

“Okay, Kara, let's say you're right. How do you know she won’t use you at some point in the future?”

“I don’t.”

Alex inclined her head. “I suppose that’s the best answer I could hope for.”

Kara felt the need to add something else. “I trust her, Alex.”

Alex moved her hands like she didn’t know what to do with them. “You trust Lena Luthor?”

“Isn’t that sort of required for a relationship?”

“Kara, she’s _Lena Luthor.”_

Kara felt fight rising in her. “She’s her own woman. How many times does she have to do the right thing before you accept that?”

“I’m not worried she’s going to turn into her brother. I’m worried she’s going to do something bad while she’s trying to do a self-centered thing, or even the right thing. What happens when a person as smart and powerful as her is just plain wrong about something?”

“I believe in her.”

Alex took in her sister’s words. “I know better than to argue when you believe in someone. Just promise me you’ll be careful.”

Kara nodded. “I promise.”

Alex took a breath. “When will you tell her who you are?”

“When I’m confident that our relationship will last.”

“When will that be? A month from now? A year?”

“I don’t know,” Kara admitted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would deeply appreciate your comments. I don't know if it's the story, the timing of updates, or the summary not being catchy enough, but this story hasn't received the response I hoped for. If you want more, please let me know, or else I may move on to something else.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t watched 306 “Midvale”, but I did hear the bit about calculus. If anything in this story besides that contradicts canon, just relax and let me take artistic license. Also, in my imagination, Kara has noticeable muscle definition. Lastly, my affection for women’s soccer bled over into this story. I hope you don’t mind :)

When Supergirl arrived to take Lena on their second date, Lena seemed off. “Is something wrong?” Kara asked.

“It’s okay,” Lena said unconvincingly, “We can go.”

“But?”

Lena sighed and dropped a bombshell on her. “I’m new to relationships, but I think we need to do normal things together for this to work.”

Kara felt her face tighten. She hadn’t thought that through.

“We can hang out here, we can go out in the woods, and we could go to my apartment, but how long can we last just doing that?”

“You’re right,” Kara said, mouth dry. She couldn’t go out with Lena in her street clothes; it’d be obvious she was Kara Danvers. She couldn’t meet Lena’s eyes. “I think…I can’t stay. Not with this on my heart.”

“I understand. Take some time to think about it,” Lena said.

“Yeah.”

Lena nodded, eyes heavy. “Let me know what you want to do.”

“I will.” She turned to go, but Lena caught her arm and pulled her into a hug.

* * *

Kara dropped onto her couch and covered her eyes. Lena. Lena was right, but things were still too new, too unstable, for Kara to put their friendship on the line. Rao, she’d thought regular dating was hard. Kara reminded herself that it was worth it, told herself that she was doing the right thing for Lena, but how could she continue?

No, she hadn’t given up before and she wasn’t giving up now. Kara pushed herself off the couch and went to her closet. She wouldn’t wear her glasses, obviously, but did she have anything, literally anything, that wasn’t classic Kara Danvers? Blouses, shirts, sweaters, skirts, pants, dresses…Kara groaned. She’d donated the clothes from her red-K phase to a thrift shop. Nothing, nothing at all. She plopped onto her bed and sighed. She’d have to start from scratch, and she had enough trouble dressing for a date as Kara Danvers. There was only one thing to do: call for help. “Alex, I need help with something. Can I come over?”

When Kara arrived, Alex met her with sisterly concern. “What do you need?”

“I need a new wardrobe.”

Alex blinked. “A new wardrobe?”

Kara bit her lip. “I need clothes that Supergirl would wear for an evening out.”

“You are not serious.”

Kara held out her upturned hands. “Lena and I need to live life together. I can’t go out in my cape and I can’t wear my own clothes.”

“What you can’t do is date her as someone other than yourself! What happens when she finds out the girl she’s falling for isn’t real?”

“No,” Kara insisted, “I’ll be myself. I just need to be myself in, like, a leather jacket or something. Hair down, no glasses, and dress like I did when I got messed up by the red Kryptonite. That wouldn’t be deception, since I already had it in me to do that. Besides, Lena’s never seen me sleeveless.” Kara rolled up her sleeve and flexed. “Who’d believe Kara Danvers has arms like this?”

“So, what, you want me to go shopping with you?”

“Please, Alex?”

Alex glared at her for four seconds, then dropped her shoulders and sighed. “Fine. God, I can’t believe I’m enabling this.”

* * *

Kara set her phone to use her new number and called Lena. “Hey there.”

_“Hey.”_ Lena sounded hesitant and expectant.

“Can you meet me for drinks this evening?”

Lena’s voice lit up. _“Yes! Where?”_

Kara gave her the name and address of a bar far from both L-Corp and CatCo. “I’ll be waiting for you.” Rao, she hadn’t meant to sound sensual, but it came out that way.

She heard Lena’s breathing hitch. _“Will I recognize you?”_

Once started, Kara decided not to stop. “Oh, now that’s part of the fun, isn’t it? Don’t worry, I’ll definitely recognize you.”

* * *

Black leather jacket? Check. Mid-thigh dress, the color of red wine? Check. Hot boots? Check. Supergirl confidence? Oh, yes. Entering the bar, Kara felt herself drawing eyes in a way she wasn’t used to. It was uncomfortable, but she kept her chin high and pushed through it to a corner booth in the back. She waited, watching the entrance.

Contrary to her words, when Lena entered, Kara had to look twice to recognize her. The executive arrived in understated clothes and makeup, looking for all the world like just another bar patron – to everyone but Kara. To her, she looked beautifully simple and vulnerable, like a queen who’d set aside her crown. Their eyes met and Kara gave a small wave. Lena smiled and headed straight for her. Kara rose to meet her. “Looks like we both aren’t quite our usual selves,” she said as they embraced.

Lena smirked. “Why, is this not how you usually dress?”

Kara gave her sultry eyes. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Lena chuckled as they settled into the booth. “Do you feel more confident as Supergirl?”

“I do. When I put on the suit, I feel powerful and I feel like I stand for something. I can plant my feet and face down whatever comes. When I’m ‘myself’, everything depends so much more on other people’s opinions, feelings, expectations – I have to navigate through all that. It’s not like I’m not confident at my day job, but it’s different.”

“Would you be as…suggestive as yourself?”

“Oh, gosh…” Kara shook her head and looked at the ceiling. “Not this early in a relationship. I’d be too nervous.”

“I’m not complaining.” Lena reached out and put her hand on Kara’s. “You could flirt with anyone you want, but you picked me.”

Kara tried not to stare at their hands. “I…want to do a lot more than flirt with you.”

Lena arched an eyebrow.

Kara hung her head back and groaned, pulling her hand away from Lena’s in the process. “I didn’t mean it like that! I meant, like…everything we’re starting to share. I want to…I don’t know! Make balloon animals with you!” Lena laughed. “Go to a concert! Or a library and read children’s books aloud!”

Lena’s laughing stalled, though her smile remained. “Supergirl, I need something to call you.”

“What do you mean?”

“A name. I can’t keep calling you ‘Supergirl’ in public.” She smirked. “Can I call you, like, ‘K-Zor’?”

Kara looked down and blinked her eyes, a lump forming in her throat.

“What’s wrong?” Lena asked, suddenly worried.

“It’s not you,” Kara assured her. “It’s just…‘K-Zors’ was my nickname on my sports teams on Krypton. I haven’t heard anyone say it in thirteen years.”

Lena took her hand again. “I’m sorry. We can come up with something else.”

“No.” Kara met Lena’s eyes. “You know what? No. I own that part of me, not my grief. It’s mine to share with whoever I want. Call me ‘K-Zors’.”

Lena smiled. “Alright, K-Zors.”

Kara smiled back. “Did you play a sport growing up?”

Lena shook her head. “No,” she said, heaping on melodrama, “Luthors didn’t have time for such frivolous things as sports. I missed out.”

Kara had an idea. “Want to go to a park and play catch?”

“K-Zors, there’s throwing like a girl and then there’s me.”

“I’ll teach you. I’m pretty sure my sister has a football. We’ll just swing by her apartment-” Kara scrunched her lips to the side. “I’ll swing by her apartment and meet you at the park?”

Lena agreed. “I’ll text you when I get there.”

* * *

“The key is to put your body into it. You throw with your arm, yes, but the power comes from your body.” Kara talked Lena through the motions. Her first throw was better than terrible, though there was much room for improvement. “Let me try something. Here…” Kara put her hands on Lena and guided her, slowly, through the movements. “Try doing it just like that.”

Lena smiled suggestively. “Would you show me again? I don’t think I got it the first time.”

Kara smirked and did so, standing closer. “How’s that feel?”

“When we're ready,” Lena said softly, “I want to do a lot more than flirt with you, too.”

“When we’re ready, we’ll talk.” Kara looked around, saw that no one was looking in their direction, and used her super-speed to put some space between them. Lena tried another throw. “That’s not a bad spiral!”

“I’m no athlete, but at least I have a physics background.” Two decent throws later, Lena asked, “Could you throw that into orbit?”

Kara grinned. “I don’t think the leather would survive.”

“What if it was made from something sturdier?”

Kara considered. “I think I could throw it into space, but I don’t see how I could achieve orbit from down here. Maybe if I threw it from the upper atmosphere.”

Lena’s eyebrows rose. “You know the difference?”

Kara smirked. “I come from a spacefaring people. That’s elementary school stuff.”

“You weren’t doing actual orbital mechanics in elementary school, were you?”

Kara shook her head. “Oh, no, just the concepts. We got introduced to the math in middle school, as much as you could without calculus.”

“When did you do calculus?”

“I would’ve learned it in the equivalent of tenth grade.”

Lena smiled. “Good. I was afraid you were going to tell me you learned integrals at age four.”

Kara laughed. “No, no. I don’t think there’s any planet where four-year olds do calculus. Can you imagine a child that young comprehending, let alone calculating, slope or the area under a curve? No way.”

Lena threw the ball again. Kara caught it and grinned. “That was perfect, Lena!”

“It was as much luck as skill,” Lena confessed, smiling, “but it felt really satisfying to watch it spin like that. Did you play sports after coming to Earth?”

Kara shook her head and sighed. “No. I wanted to, but there was no way.”

“Your powers?”

“I wouldn’t have been able to hold back when I got competitive. I would've wanted to beat someone to a soccer ball and forgotten how fast I was ‘supposed’ to run.”

“That must've been hard, having to give up a part of yourself like that.”

“I hated my parents for a whole week,” Kara admitted, “but they were right. P.E. turned out to be my most stressful class, because I had to keep my head _out_ of whatever we were doing.”

“If you liked sports on Krypton, that sounds like torture,” Lena sympathized.

“It was.”

Lena caught the ball and passed it back. “I would've guessed you had the hardest time with history.”

“That was rough, too. My parents gave me a crash course on cultural literacy, but I still blanked on who Abraham Lincoln was in front of my whole class once.” Kara smiled. It was easy to smile with Lena.

“You’ve overcome a lot, you know,” Lena said. “I think a lot of people look at you and see someone who's perfect, who has everything, but you're not like that. You are so human.”

“Humans don't have a monopoly on personhood.”

Lena ducked her head and reddened. “I’m sorry. We're still learning to accept our own species. We haven't even started to consider extraterrestrials.”

Kara smiled. “I’ve never seen you blush before.”

“It’s a rare sight.” Lena paused. “You know what? I'm glad I did. Luthors don’t blush, but I feel like I can be imperfect around you.”

“Lena, I'm so glad! Showing emotion doesn’t make you imperfect, it makes you real.”

Lena shook her head in wonder. “You're a marvel, K-Zors. You had to rebuild your whole life from scratch and you turned out beautifully.”

Kara shrugged, blushing a little herself. “I had good parents and a good sister.”

“You have a good heart.”

“You do, too, Lena. I'm not just saying that.”

Lena smiled wide. “I have to confess, dating Supergirl is doing wonders for my self-esteem.”

Kara looked around, dropped the football, and zipped back to Lena. “I can’t not hug you right now.”

Lena melted into her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all blew me away with your response to my plea in the previous chapter! I've taken that energy and put it into working out the kinks in the narrative. I'm close to completing the story :)
> 
> P.S. I recommend making a habit of commenting on any and all works you like. It's means so much to us writers.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My immense, overflowing thanks to [into-outof](http://archiveofourown.org/users/intooutof/pseuds/intooutof) and [potstickermaster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/potstickermaster) for beta-reading the rest of this story! Go and read their works, for they are awesome.
> 
> An organization like Lena suggests probably already exists. Let’s pretend one doesn’t on her Earth.

Kara's idea of the perfect next date involved a doughnut shop, but that, like potstickers, seemed too risky. She itched to tell Lena but told herself not to rush things; she only had one chance to get this right. So, they went for ice cream and a movie on the lawn at a city park. Sitting far to the rear, they could talk without disrupting the audience. “Have you seen _Wonder Woman_ before?” Kara asked.

“I have, actually,” Lena said. “I don’t usually make time for going to movies, but I wanted to see this one in a theater.”

“What did you think?”

Lena smiled. “I like how you never ask binary questions, like ‘Did you like it?’ I did like it, right until the very end.”

“’Cause they couldn’t find a parachute for Chris Pine?”

Lena laughed. “I didn’t like how they made a point with the general that killing one bad guy won't solve the world's problems, then had Diana kill another bad guy to resolve the plot. I think they wrote themselves into a corner when they made Ares style himself as ‘the god of truth'.”

“Yeah, I hear that in the comics Diana used the Lasso on him and got him to see some reason.”

“That would've been more morally satisfying, but I wonder if audiences would have believed it.” Lena smiled at Kara. “That’s something I love about you. You believe in people without being naïve.”

Kara smiled back and laid her hand over Lena's. “Thank you.” Her reaction surprised her; normally, a compliment like that would make her duck her head and adjust her glasses. “What do you think of the Amazons?”

“A culturally sophisticated society of badass warrior woman? I love them.”

“I know, right? So often, strong women in fantasy are portrayed as barbarians.”

“I like that they’re visibly strong, too. Muscular. That’s something our society ought to be accepting of.” Lena smirked and poked Kara's bare bicep. “You’re in serious shape yourself.”

“Mmm, but I didn’t earn it. It's that yellow sun at work.”

“Do you want to earn it?”

“On Krypton, I liked fitness and working out. I had just reached the age when they stopped treating us like kids and started treating us like athletes. Now I can't do any of that.” Kara threaded her fingers between Lena's. She wondered about something and wanted her to feel especially comfortable before inquiring. “Lena, if you don’t mind me asking, what was your father like?”

Lena sucked her cheeks in and swallowed. “I've asked myself the same thing since I learned he was my biological father. He was warm, generous, loving, supportive, encouraging, challenging – all the things you would want a parent to be. Yet, the whole time, he lied to me about who I was. I ask myself whether he wanted to make Lillian and himself equal in my eyes, or whether he was afraid I'd ask where he'd been for the first four years of my life. I ask myself whether any of that outweighed my right to know who I am.” Lena sighed and looked away. “Maybe I liked it better when I was adopted, rather than the daughter of a liar and a coward.”

Kara squeezed her hand. “He still loved you.”

Lena nodded and swallowed. “He did. To think, though, that I wouldn’t even know, if Lillian hadn't needed me to open Lex's bunker. He was the only one left in my family who wasn’t tainted…well, I guess he married Lillian, too, so that was another mark against him.”

Kara released Lena's hand in favor of an arm around her shoulders. “But he still loved you.”

Lena sighed and gave Kara a tiny smile. “He did.”

“Was he the one who raised you to become a businesswoman?”

“I wouldn’t say that. He tried to expose me to as much of LuthorCorp as he could at that age, but he primarily encouraged me to follow my interest in science. Still, it's because of him that I minored in business at MIT.”

Kara hummed in thought, then shifted to face her. “What motivates you, Lena?”

“In business, you mean?”

“Open-ended question. Take it however you want.”

Lena nodded and considered. “I have a lot of power,” she began. “I didn’t ask for it, but I've earned it retroactively.”

“What do you mean?”

“If I were incompetent, I wouldn’t last as L-Corp's CEO. I've had to prove myself every step of the way to keep what I have. What motivates me…” Lena sighed. “I think I've always had a drive, but it didn’t always have a reason or purpose. Growing up, all sorts of things pushed and pulled me: wanting to fit in with my family, wanting to win my mother’s affections, wanting to prove that I had more going for me than just a name. All that kept me going. It wasn't until Lex's…” She shook her head. “I don’t even know what to call it, but afterwards, it was like everybody turned to me and asked, ‘So what are you going to do?’ I had to find an answer. In a way, seeing Lex's evil highlighted the alternative. I decided that if I have all this power, then I want the world to be a better place because of me. The critical thing to me, though, is I want it to be a better place in the eyes of the people who live in it, not just in my own. I like to think that's what sets me apart from Lex; he wanted to make the world a better place according to his view, by any means necessary. I want to give people tools and resources so they can each make their own world a better place. I actually had this idea…” she pursed her lips. “I haven't told anyone yet, because I'm still considering how to sell it to our shareholders. You know how there's MSF, Doctors Without Borders, and so on? How about an organization that helps people in the developing world start and manage businesses? We'd teach accounting, management, marketing, and so on. It'd be a challenge to do it across cultural divides, but we could recruit successful entrepreneurs from each country to be our teachers and mentors, rather than rolling in as another group of white people telling the natives what to do.”

Kara considered it. “That sounds promising. Do you think the idea won't go over well with your shareholders?”

“A lot of people see the developing world as an under-served market. From that perspective, we'd be fostering our own competition.”

Kara shook her head. “There's no way a start-up is going to compete with L-Corp. You know that.”

“In the short term, no. In the very long term, what happens when North Africa develops a tech industry? It would cut into our market share. Take Southeast Asia. Our sales are rising, but we're not keeping up with the Chinese – nobody is – and the Vietnamese are gaining ground. This is all great news for the people of those countries and I'm glad to see it, I genuinely am, but how do I convince people here to make our job harder?”

“I thought,” Kara said, smiling, “that the whole point of innovation was to keep ahead of the competition.”

Lena chuckled. “It is, but it's expensive in the short term. So how do I convince our shareholders to divert millions of dollars from research and new product development – we can’t take much from anywhere else – and invest it in our future competition?” When Kara had no answer, Lena continued. “The easy way is for L-Corp to demand a stake in any companies we help get off the ground, but I don't want that. It's the right thing to do as a business, but it doesn’t feel like the right way to help people as a human being. Person,” she corrected, smiling at Kara.

“Can you set it up as a nonprofit?”

“We would, but the funding still has to come from L-Corp somehow.”

Kara squeezed Lena's shoulder. “You’ll find a way to make it happen.”

Lena nodded. “I ran some numbers and I could almost do it out of my own pocket, but it doesn’t quite add up. Even if I lower my standard of living as far as it can go in this city, I’d still have to end my other charitable contributions. I'm not willing to do that.” Lena sighed. “As part of putting a new face on L-Corp, I cut my salary by twenty percent. Now I wish I hadn't.”

“You considered that?” Kara tried not to sound surprised. It wasn’t something she expected to hear from a CEO, even when that CEO was her girlfriend.

“Considered what?”

“You’re willing to live like a normal person?”

Lena frowned. “Everybody else does.”

Kara felt chastised. “Sorry.”

Lena assured her it was fine. “I sometimes wish I could. I can’t, though. Do you know why my desk faces away from the windows?

“I wondered about that,” Kara admitted.

“It's because the view has a purpose. It's not there for me to enjoy, it's there to impress visitors. It might not seem like it matters that I travel by private jet and a chauffeur drives my long-wheelbase Mercedes, but it matters to other people at the top. They wouldn’t take me seriously if I didn’t dress perfectly. My office has to be bigger than theirs, the view has to be better, my clothes have to be more expensive, my secretary has to be smarter, my security has to be sharper. That's all just to get my foot in the door, K-Zors.”

It was Kara's turn to frown. “That all sounds patriarchal.”

Lena scoffed. “It is. How many women CEO's are in the top 100 of the Fortune 500? Eight. Change is coming, and hopefully the next generation will live in the equal and equitable world we're trying to make. I give twenty percent of my income to nonprofits helping develop the next wave of women in business and engineering. Right now, though, this is the game and I'm playing to win.”

“For the sake of giving people tools to improve their lives?”

“Selling them, but yes.”

Kara grinned. “You are a badass, you know that?”

Lena looked down, lips quirking. “You know the clothes I wore to meet you at the bar? I bought them an hour before I arrived. I didn’t own anything like that. I put them on in the changing room and had the lady at the checkout scan the tags while I was wearing them. That evening was the first time I felt unburdened by my name in years. I felt so refreshed to be just Lena for a few hours. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

“Actually, I think I might,” Kara said quietly. “With you, I'm not the girl I am on Earth; I'm the girl I was on Krypton. I don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations of what I’m supposed to be.”

Lena’s smile had a hint of sadness in it.

“What's wr-” Kara’s phone rang the ringtone she’d set for the DEO. Sighing, she answered. “What’s the emergency?”

 _“Hostage situation,”_ Alex said. _“Police chased two robbers to a convenience store. They're threatening to kill the customers unless they're allowed to leave.”_

“I'm on it.” She returned her attention to Lena. “I have to go. I'm sorry, I promise we'll talk soon.”

Lena smiled the exact same smile. “Go get ‘em, K-Zors.”

* * *

There was no ‘soon’ that day, nor the next. Work and emergencies kept Kara busy from the moment she woke up to the moment she hit the mattress again. Then, out of the inky shadows of sleep, her phone rang. She picked it up; it was two forty-seven and Lena called for Supergirl. _“Can you meet me somewhere right now?”_ Lena sounded as serious as when she'd drilled her on the importance of trust and communication.

“Uh, yeah, yes, sure I can,” Kara replied, sitting bolt upright. “Where?”

_“I'll text you the coordinates. Get here as fast as you can.”_

Eleven minutes later, Kara circled over a collection of trucks and SUV's in the middle of nowhere. She spotted Lena and landed. “What’s the emergency?”

“It's more of an urgency. Come with me, let's get out of earshot.” Lena led her to one of the SUV's and they climbed into the second row of seats.

“What is all this, Lena?”

“I’m sorry I had to wake you in the middle of the night. We,” Lena said, “are parked on top of another of my brother’s secret bunkers. I'm about to demolish it.”

“Okay.” Kara sought the source of Lena’s urgency. “Why the rush?”

“Security. I did my best but I can’t be certain the location didn’t leak to my mother. I have to destroy this place as quickly as possible and I can't risk taking anything with me when I leave.”

“Sounds good. Where do I come in? Do you want me to fly something back?”

Lena licked her lips. “K-Zors…”

Kara was on it in a flash. “Is something wrong? Are you alright?”

“No, no, it's nothing like that. There's just something I want to ask you and…it's going to sound bad.”

Kara wondered what could be so bad that Lena didn’t trust her reaction. “Lena, you can talk to me,” she assured her.

“I had this idea.” Lena took a breath. “Have you ever experimented with low levels of Kryptonite radiation?”

“Sort of…” She trusted Lena, but that definitely sounded bad.

“Is there a dose rate which will make you only as strong as a human without causing ill effects?”

Kara nodded. “We used it so I could train in hand-to-hand fighting.”

“I want to make you a ring containing a trace amount of Kryptonite. When you wear it, you'll be able to play sports as a human.”

Kara bit her lip. “I appreciate the thought. Two problems come to mind. One, it would weaken me whenever it was nearby, not just when I put it on.”

“I'd make a lead case for you to carry it in.”

Kara was glad to hear Lena had thought that through, at least. She offered a small smile. “Two, there's no Kryptonite left on Earth. Superman got rid of it all.”

Lena reached into her coat and pulled out a small steel cylinder. “Inside this is a lead canister. Inside that is a vial containing eight hundred micrograms of fine Kryptonite dust. Lex would've used it to poison your cousin, like that Russian who was murdered with radioactive tea.” Kara shuddered at the thought. “If you want to make a ring, you can either give this to your paramilitary government friends or you can give it back to me, in the city, along with the radiation data, whichever you're more comfortable with.”

Kara chewed it over. “I don't want that data seeing the light of day.”

Lena nodded. “I understand. I wouldn’t, if it were me.”

“Lena…” Kara had another thought. “If I join a soccer rec league or something, I'll do it under my human name. You wouldn’t be able to come watch.”

“I expected that, too.” Lena clearly tried to hide her sadness, but it came through in her eyes.

Kara closed her eyes for a moment, then took the cylinder. “This is huge to me, Lena. Thank you.”

Lena blinked and looked away. “Well, it’s probably the most selfless thing I’ve ever done, so you're welcome.”

With Lena's face angled away, Kara didn’t even think. She just leaned in and kissed her cheek.

Lena froze. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to. You just gave me part of myself back, Lena.”

Lena smiled and faced Kara again. “Get away from here before something goes wrong.”

“One more thing,” Kara said slowly. “What was on your mind yesterday? You didn’t look okay.”

“It's nothing,” Lena assured her in a flat tone which was anything but reassuring.

“Yes it is.”

Lena shook her head. “There was something, but I'm okay now. Go and put that somewhere safe.”

Kara wanted to believe Lena and she didn’t want an argument. She nodded and took off for National City.

* * *

Cornered in a DEO hallway by a work-clothed Kara, Alex stared. “You want a what?”

“A weak Kryptonite ring,” Kara repeated. “It’ll let me do more human things. You remember how broken up I was when our parents forbid me to play sports.”

“Kara, having to take it off and put it away will add to your reaction time in an emergency.”

“I’ll only wear it when I’m on the field,” Kara assured her.

“What if you forget to take it off?”

“If I feel like I did after matches on Krypton, there’s no way I’ll forget to take it off.”

Alex frowned. “Was this Lena Luthor’s idea?”

“Yes. Alex,” Kara protested, “it’ll be just like when we trained under the green lights. Where’s the harm?”

“I don’t trust her, Kara.”

Kara’s frustration broke through. “I’m done asking you to trust her. Trust me.”

Alex sighed. “Where are you going to get Kryptonite?” Kara brought out the cylinder. Alex’s eyes narrowed at it. “She gave it to you. How do you know she doesn’t have more?” ~~~~

Kara rolled her eyes. “Because she doesn’t want to murder me!”

“She could’ve saved some as a hedge. Not against you,” Alex added, “but wouldn’t she hang on to any resources she has?”

“No. She gave it to me as soon as she found it. How many times do I have to say I trust her?”

Alex huffed and gazed at the ceiling. “Did you have to pick the most dangerous woman in the city to trust?”

“I didn’t pick her to trust. She earned it.”

Alex closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. “I’ll take it to the tech department.”

“No, I’ll take it. I’m going to watch them make it.”

Alex’s eyes snapped open. “You trust Lena Luthor more than the DEO?!”

“I trust a friend more than an organization. This cylinder isn’t leaving my hands, Alex.”

“Kara-”

“Alex!”

Alex held up her hands. “I’m not thinking about that now. Kara, I worry every day that you’re going to get hurt when she finds out you aren’t who you’re pretending to be.”

Kara stepped closer, hoping it would feel reassuring. “I don’t pretend with her. I feel as much like myself with her as I do with you.”

“But you aren’t Kara Danvers with her. You aren’t the girl I know or any of your friends know.”

“Do you mean the sweet young woman and aspiring reporter, or the self-conscious girl who’s always fiddling with her glasses?” Kara took them off. “Alex, ever since I came to Earth, I’ve had to be unassuming, blend into the background…” She sighed. “My worst fear wasn’t that people would find out I was an alien, but that I’d stand out as different.” Kara looked down and wet her lips. “Even with you,” she admitted, “I was afraid of making you afraid or jealous. I got past it with you, but the rest is all learned, ingrained behavior. It’s at least as much an act as Supergirl is.”

Alex’s eyes were concerned and a little sad. “Then who are you, really?”

Kara looked away with a sigh before returning her eyes to Alex. “I’ve been questioning that a lot lately. Until Lena, I was most myself when I was alone with you, being Supergirl, or chasing down a story. Now, with Lena, I feel like I’m making a clean start. It’s like I’m Kara Zor-El again. I feel like, when I finally come out to her, I’ll be able to merge my selves into who I was always supposed to be.”

Alex gave her a complicated smile. “I hope so.” She hugged her sister. “I’m worried about you, Kara, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you two together. If you’re right about her and it works out like you hope, no one will be cheering louder than me. Just take good care of yourself.”

“I will,” Kara said against her sister’s shoulder. “Also, I might get more competitive at game nights.”

* * *

Kara pulled out her phone and typed: _I went to a soccer field and joined a pick-up game._

Lena texted back: _How'd it go?_

Kara smiled. _I’m tired, sweaty, bruised, and grass-stained, and it's all thanks to you :)_

A minute later, she received a smiley face in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the chapters will come more frequently.
> 
> As always, I love to hear your comments :)


	8. Chapter 8

“I understand if this is an unpleasant topic,” Supergirl began, “but I always want to learn more about your childhood. I want to know and understand you as well as I can.”

Lena looked unenthused. “What’s left to say? My father loved me, but he lied to me about who I am. My stepmother was horrid. My brother was wonderful until he went off the rails. Now he's tried to assassinate me and I'll probably never know why. My family had the wealth to pay my tuition at MIT in cash. At twenty-three, I was the youngest woman and probably the youngest person ever to be CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I wake up every day and wonder if cruelty and insanity come from my father’s bloodline or only Lillian’s.”

“Lena, no,” Kara protested, “you have a good heart.”

Lena’s eyes turned bitter. “And the brother who took me in and made me hope that I might have a new family, a new home, and a new future, didn’t?”

Kara closed her mouth. She had nothing to say.

“You think,” Lena continued, starting to sound like the woman who'd rejected Supergirl all those weeks ago, “that if you decide someone is good, then that’s all there is to it? That good people are infallible and always will be?”

Supergirl didn’t need super-hearing or X-ray vision to sense that this was about their relationship. “Lena, what's wrong? Please tell me.”

“Do you have a plan for telling me?”

In her Supergirl street clothes, eye to eye with Lena, Kara scarcely believed Lena didn’t know. Her disappearing act at the fundraiser must've been more convincing than it felt. “I do.” She did her best to be reassuring. “Please don't ask what it is. I couldn’t tell you without giving away things I'm not ready to share.”

Lena sighed and made an effort to calm down. “Kara told me that you're being cautious for a good reason, but it's nagging at me that I don’t know who you are.”

“You do know who I am,” Kara insisted. “You know me as well as my closest friends do, Lena. You just know different parts of me.”

Lena sighed. “It’s hard to accept that when I don’t know your name.”

Kara took both of Lena’s hands. “Lena, you’re the only person in the universe who knows my nickname.”

“It’s not the same.”

“No, it’s not,” the blonde admitted. “But it means you’re the only person in the universe who knows me as I was before I came to Earth.”

“Do I?” Lena's voice scratched. “I only see you in your costume and in clothes you aren't quite at home in. How do I know that you’re being your real self with me?”

“Lena, we talked a lot about trust when we got together. This is one of those-”

Lena waved a hand. “I phrased that wrong. How do _you_ know you’re being your real self with me?”

Kara gazed into Lena's eyes. “Lena, I felt more like my real self when we went to the park than …” _when I'm Kara Danvers,_ she almost said.

Those eyes grew damp. “Than what?”

“Lena, I don’t put on a mask around you,” Kara tried. “I take off the mask I've worn since I came to Earth. I feel free to _not_ be my usual self with you. I get to be K-Zors again.”

“I hear you,” Lena said, blinking against tears, “and I believe you, but my heart isn't accepting it.”

“Lena.” Kara brushed moisture from under her girlfriend’s eyes. “Everything I've said and everything I’ve done with you is my real self.”

Lena’s breath shook. “But I'm not- I’m not falling in love with a collection of words and actions. I'm falling in love w-with a person.” Her face tightened and her voice rose as Kara moved to hug her. _“And not all of her is here.”_

This wasn’t the plan. This was too soon, too raw, too … frightening. All Kara knew how to do was hold Lena as she wept.

“I don't know if I can keep doing this,” Lena whispered, “and I don’t know if I can live without you.”

Kara felt her own tears coming.

Lena stepped back. “Come home with me,” she pleaded. “Spend the night. I don’t mean sexually, just literally sleep with me. Let me wake up with you.”

Kara hesitated. “Lena, I would, but I can’t promise there won't be some emergency.”

“Just wake me if you leave, okay?”

She could do that. “Okay.”

* * *

Lena's apartment matched her description: a place where she slept. It was in a fashionable building in an exclusive district, but Kara supposed that was for appearances. The interior was spare, appointed with only the essentials: kitchen, breakfast bar, couch, coffee table, television, bookshelf, desk, bathroom, bedroom, laundry. Nothing hung on the walls. Kara felt a tug of sympathy. “Lena, you should have a space you feel at home in. Someplace to call your own and fill with your identity.”

Lena frowned at the space in front of them. “Who says this isn't my identity?”

“You really haven't felt at home in your life,” Kara realized. She put her hand on Lena's shoulder, but Lena didn’t react. She kept looking in the same direction, at the far corner of the room.

“What's your apartment like?”

Kara tipped her head down. What could she say when Lena had already been inside it? In the time it took to gather her thoughts, Lena sighed and stepped into the kitchen. Kara's hand slipped off her shoulder. “It’s warm,” she said to Lena’s back.

Lena poured herself a glass of water.

“It’s not white walls and cool light, like this,” Kara continued. “Actually, the walls are white, but they're broken up with color and the lighting is warmer. I try to keep it feeling cozy. The furniture is all from thrift stores, but I went to a lot of them to pick out things I like.” She bit her lip. “Kara said you came to her apartment once?” Lena gave a short nod. “Picture that.”

Lena looked around at her living room. “It’s pretty bleak in here, isn't it.”

“It's lonely,” Kara said softly.

Lena took a long drink. “Sorry, I didn’t offer you anything. Can I get you something?”

“No, I'm fine.”

Lena looked away again. “The most at home I've ever felt has been with you,” she stated in a flat tone. “I'm realizing that was a mistake.” Kara felt her eyes widen and looked away. “It’s not healthy to pin my sense of self on another person.”

Kara had to admit she was right about that. “No, it's not. I’m sorry.”

Lena set her glass down and gestured at Kara's bag. “Go ahead and do your nighttime routine. I'll use the bathroom after you're done.”

Kara went through the motions, beginning to think she'd made a huge mistake. Finished and in her pajamas, she left the bathroom to its owner and sat on the bed. She couldn’t decide whether to get comfortable without Lena or wait. Not deciding was the same as waiting, so she waited.

Returning, Lena wore a nightshirt which would've been attractive if the woman in it showed any life. Her eyes didn’t meet Kara's as she turned off the room light, pulled back the sheets, and climbed in, facing the wall. Joining her under the covers, Kara ached to erase the space between them, but Lena’s back gave off the opposite of a cuddling vibe. Sighing, she tried resting her hand on Lena's waist. Lena twitched at her touch and Kara gave up. “Goodnight, Lena,” she murmured.

“Night, Supergirl.”

Kara felt as cold and empty as the apartment.

* * *

_“Supergirl?”_

Kara blinked awake.

 _“Supergirl?”_ Alex's voice sounded in her earpiece.

She rubbed her face. “I’m- I'm here.”

 _“There’s a fire aboard an aircraft carrier, two hundred nautical miles due west of National City. It's bad, Kara. Hundreds of tons of fuel and explosives. They need you_ now.”

“I'm on my way.” She grabbed her super-suit and threw it on. Still coming alert, she shoved open a window and raced away over the city, going supersonic once she reached the ocean. Alex’s voice came in her ear again. _“USS Roosevelt, Supergirl is feet wet. ETA six minutes.”_

In the darkness, the fire looked like an orange dot on a canvas of jet black. Closer, she saw the whole stern of the ship ablaze. “Alex, I’m here. Can you patch me through to the ship?”

_“Hang on.”_

A moment later, a strained female voice crackled in her ear. _“Supergirl, this is Captain Rasmussen. Get below deck and move all the ordnance to the forward magazine!”_

On her way down, she heard a sharp _crack!_ and saw one of the aircraft arresting cables whip across the deck. _“Jump!”_ She grabbed two crewmen just in time to save their feet from being sheared off. In the ship’s internal hangar, men heaved and hauled at carts laden with bombs, missiles, and ammunition. The space was filling with smoke and the sailors wouldn’t last much longer. “Stay back!” Kara shouted. “I’ll bring them to you!” Kara moved as fast as she dared, pulling munition after munition out of the smoke and passing them off to the crew, who took them the rest of the way.

“Is that everything?” A man in red yelled.

“I’m still checki-”

The loudest noise Kara had ever heard shattered her ears and threw her across the hangar. She sat up slowly and painfully, trying to get her bearings. After several dizzy seconds, hands grabbed her and pulled her upright. She stared around at helmeted faces. _“Are you alright?”_ The voice seemed to come from far away. _“Supergirl?! Are you alright?!”_

“I’m …” Kara clutched at her head and felt something wet. She looked at her hand and saw it covered in blood.

“It’s not yours! It's mine!”

Kara looked up at a man with a massive gash down his arm. “You need to get to a medic.”

The man turned and shouted over his shoulder. “She’s alright!” He turned back to Kara. “Thank god it was only a small one. Check for more. When it’s clear, go back up and help fight the fire.”

Kara nodded. “I will. Get to a medic.”

* * *

Dawn had broken by the time Kara returned to her apartment, covered in soot. She stripped out of her suit and made straight for the shower. As she started the water, her phone buzzed. She picked it up and read: _Why didn’t you wake me?_

Kara stared in horror; she’d utterly forgotten her promise. She called Lena. “I am so sorry, Lena! There was a huge fire. I was still half-asleep when I left and I just forgot.”

Lena's voice shook. _“I asked one thing of you.”_

“And I said I might-”

_“No. Don't you dare defend yourself. You didn’t do what you said you'd do.”_

Kara swallowed. “I was wrong to agree to it. I'm sorry, Lena.”

 _“I’ll leave your things on the office balcony. I need some space, Supergirl.”_ The call ended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments are welcome.


	9. Chapter 9

Kara must've picked up her phone and put it down again a hundred times. She wanted to call Lena as Supergirl. She wanted to call as Kara Danvers. She just wanted to hear Lena’s voice.

But Lena didn’t want to hear hers.

A hundred times, she put her feet flat on the floor to stand and go to L-Corp, but she didn’t. When Lena Luthor asked for something, you gave it to her.

It still hurt.

Late in the workday, her phone rang; Lena calling for Kara Danvers. She tried to answer calmly. “Lena? How are you?”

 _“Kara, I need you.”_ She was clearly restraining her emotions. _“Please come over after you get off work.”_

Kara checked the time. “I can come now, if you need.”

_“No, just – do whatever works with your schedule.”_

“I can come now.”

_“Okay.”_

Kara closed her eyes and willed her voice to stay steady. “I’m here for you, Lena.”

There was a second’s pause. _“I know.”_ Another second. _“Bye.”_

* * *

If Kara didn’t know Lena so well, she would’ve missed the signs of strain around her eyes. They scared her – and she’d put them there. As soon as the door closed behind them, the strain became obvious. By the time they’d sat on the couch, Lena’s eyes were damp. Kara wished to tell Lena right there, but decided that letting Lena express her heart took precedence over solving the problem. She turned her phone off, set it on the coffee table, and took Lena's hands. “I’m here for you, however you need, for as long as you need.”

“I need a shoulder to cry on,” Lena said simply. Kara cuddled close to the CEO, who took a ragged breath. “I’ve never shared my whole self with someone. Even with you, I reserve parts of myself that I don’t like, because I’m afraid of ruining a good thing.” Kara squeezed one of her hands. “Supergirl is the first person I’ve let in completely. I felt like I had nothing to lose with her, because I didn’t have a relationship with her already. I didn’t even know who she was. And now … I feel known, I feel accepted, I feel _liked,_ I feel cared for …” Her jaw worked against a new wave of tears. “I was – I am – so thankful for that, but I don’t feel like I know her.” Kara waited, heart in her throat, as Lena steadied herself. “Part of it,” she continued, “is that I don’t know her name. It’s hard to feel like you know someone without a name.” She sighed. “She has me calling her by her Kryptonian nickname. It was fun at first but, now, every time I say it, the familiarity of it clashes with the fact that I don’t know her actual name. She’s keeping me in the dark and …” Lena trailed off and shook her head. “It hurts. All of her that I know, I love, but there's this hole. Most of the time when I'm with her, I can forget about it and just enjoy her company, but every time I go home again, it hurts. I don’t want to blame her, because she's doing so much for me, but I don't want what she can do for me. I want _her.”_ Lena clenched Kara’s hand, then sighed again and rolled her eyes. “And of course, I had to go and make it worse. I asked her to spend last night with me. I thought sharing that intimacy – I mean the closeness, not sex – would make me feel better, but it didn’t. Letting her into my apartment and my bed only emphasized how much she isn’t sharing with me.” She looked down at their hands. “You know what the worst part is? I took it out on her. I was awful to her at my apartment and I snapped after she left in the night for an emergency. I feel like such a terrible person. She told me she feels more like herself with me than with any of her friends. How is that not enough for me? After how good she's been to me and everything she's done, all I can think about is what she hasn't done.”

“It’s not fair of her,” Kara said quietly. If she spoke any louder, her voice would break with aching guilt.

“I don't want to care if it's fair,” Lena objected. “I want to love her however I can and be glad, but my heart won’t listen. I don’t think I’ve ever hurt this much in my life, Kara.”

Kara gripped Lena’s hands tight and clenched her jaw against her own tears. She couldn’t meet Lena’s eyes, so she closed her own. “Lena, she didn’t realize how hard this would be for you. This is too much to ask.”

“That’s the hell of it,” Lena said. “At the same time I’m feeling all this, I trust her. I want to keep going on her terms.”

“Lena, there’s no shame in admitting if something is too much for you.”

The CEO’s voice scratched. “I never have before. I’ve never let something be too much for me.”

“Will that attitude work with this?”

Lena worked her jaw. “I want it to. I want to be stronger than my emotions. How can I live if I’m a slave to my heart?”

“How can you be her girlfr-” Her voice cracked. “Her girlfriend if being with her causes you pain?”

“I don’t know,” Lena sighed. “I hoped you’d help with that.”

Kara looked at her friend and girlfriend, worn down and weeping. This couldn’t go on. “Lena-”

“The thing is,” Lena said as though she hadn’t heard, “I’ve never loved like this. I am _not_ giving up just because it’s hard.”

“Even if she doesn’t deserve it?” The words tumbled from Kara’s lips before she even realized she was speaking.

Lena stared at her in disbelief. “How could you think she doesn’t deserve it?”

“No one who causes pain like this deserves it! You shouldn’t be in this position.” It felt far too easy to criticize herself in the third-person.

“She wouldn’t do this if there was another way.”

Kara took a steadying breath. “Lena, you deserve to know-”

“The last thing I want this to be about is what I deserve.”

“Do you think you don't?”

Lena gave Kara a sad smile. “That’s not what I mean. I don’t want her to tell me because I deserve to know. I want her to tell me because she's excited for me to know. Do you know when was the last time I had a relationship based on giving rather than getting? Everything in my life is a trade or a play, Kara. This isn't. I want to keep it that way.”

“But she could end all this pain by telling you,” Kara pointed out quietly. “That would be giving.”

“Not if she felt like she had to,” Lena explained. “I won't accept her name as a trade for my heartache. There's got to be some other way to get through this.”

Kara put her foot down. “Lena, you deserve to be treated better than this. You deserve someone who’ll share all of themselves with you.”

Lena began to smile through her tear-stained visage. “You’re right, I do. She will, Kara. Until then, I’ll fight through it.”

“Lena, love isn’t supposed to be a fight.”

Lena looked her gently but firmly in the eyes. “Kara, I think your heart is so soft that you’re missing the point. If there’s anything Supergirl’s shown this city, it’s that love is the only fight that matters.”

Kara felt her heart tying itself in a knot. “Lena, you’re talking yourself into accepting being treated badly.”

“Kara, Supergirl has treated me better than anyone in my life – besides you.” Lena's gaze sharpened. “Don’t tell her to hurry up. If she believes this is worth doing, then let her do it right.”

“You’re determined to go on with this,” Kara observed, feeling helpless.

“I am.” Her voice was final.

Kara clenched her jaw and slowly relaxed. “Lena, we're going to talk, a lot, about how this is going. I'm not going to sit on the sidelines while you get hurt again.” She wet her lips. “You want another way to get through this. Let’s talk about how.”

“I already feel better for having shared this with you,” Lena answered.

Kara shook her head. “That’s a band-aid. The root is that you don’t feel like you know her, so how can you get to know her better without her name?”

Lena tilted her head and pursed her lips. “When I think about the parts of her do I know …” Her brow furrowed. “I’m realizing that she asks more and better questions than me. Questions about each other, I mean.” Lena’s lips scrunched sideways. “Maybe some of this is my fault.”

Kara’s nostrils flared. “Don’t you dare start blaming yourself.”

“Seriously, Kara, I see now how much attention she’s given to learning about me and how much less I’ve given to her.”

“Because she wouldn’t let you.”

“No, because I’ve hardly tried,” Lena insisted. “I haven’t probed her boundaries. I asked a few good questions early on, but that was all. God, I wonder if she feels like I don’t know her well, too.”

Kara did feel like Lena knew her well, but much of that came from her friendship as Kara Danvers. “Lena, I hate to see you bearing the burden of all this.”

“My heartache is a team effort,” Lena said with a wry smile. “I’m the one who kept it bottled up until it blew.”

Kara sighed; it was all she could do. “So you’re going to ask more questions and try to get to know her better?”

“Correct.”

“While you’re in pain like this?”

Lena shook her head. “I feel like I’ve cried it out, understood it, and made a plan. I think I’ll be alright to see her again once I get some sleep.”

Kara closed her eyes. “What else can I help you with?”

“You’ve been a great help already, Kara.” Kara sensed Lena moving and saw her stand. “I’m spent and I need to go rest. Let’s talk soon, alright?”

Kara rose and hugged Lena tight. It took all of her willpower to let go.

* * *

Kara went home, eyes leaking tears. She turned on the tap in her bathroom and splashed water onto her face. Staring at herself in the mirror, she tried to comprehend what had just happened.

The right thing to do was go back and tell Lena. Not only because Lena was hurting, but also because Kara felt ready. Lena was committed and fighting for them. They were going to last.

Except Lena made it clear that she wanted to finish this fight. If she told her now, Lena might feel bereft of a chance to prove herself to herself, as Supergirl had said. Even if there was no reason to keep her identity from Lena any longer, if it meant something to Lena, then it ought to mean something to her, right? Maybe?

She took out her phone and texted: _Kara called. If you ask me, I’ll tell you._

One full, aching minute later, Lena’s response arrived: _No._

Kara typed, heart in her throat: _If I were ready now, would you want me to tell you?_

_I want to know if I’m strong enough to do this._

Kara bit her lip. _This is a relationship. We’re supposed to be stronger together._

Her phone rang. “Lena?”

 _“Hey, K-Zors.”_ Lena’s voice had almost recovered from crying. _“I’m sorry for the way I treated you last night and the way I reacted this morning. I put you in a situation where you were likely to make a mistake. I shouldn’t have asked and I should’ve understood.”_ She paused. _“I also need to apologize for not telling the truth when you asked if I was okay the other night.”_ Lena sighed. _“I wanted to be, but I wasn’t. I should’ve processed my emotions sooner instead of letting them build.”_

Kara ran her hand down her face and sighed. “You are not the one who needs to apologize.”

_“I don’t know what Kara told you, but talking to her was what I needed. I should've gone to her in the first place instead of begging you to spend the night with me.”_

“She told me that I was being selfish and hurting you.”

_“Are you being selfish?”_

Kara turned her heart inside out, searching for proof that she was. All she found was her desire to protect Lena's only real friendship. “No,” she said reluctantly.

_“You feel guilty, though.”_

She sighed. “Yes.”

_“Can I give you a little Luthor wisdom?”_

That Lena thought there was such a thing surprised Kara. “Sure?”

_“Never feel guilty for doing the right thing. I trust you, K-Zors.”_

Kara sniffed and blinked back fresh tears. “You deserve to know who I am, Lena.”

A hint of a smile entered Lena’s voice. _“I don’t want you to tell me because I deserve it. I want you to tell me because you wholeheartedly want me to know.”_

Kara swallowed. “What if I do?”

_“Sleep on it, please. Things are too raw right now. Can we get drinks after work tomorrow?”_

“Name it, I'll be there.” Kara sighed and shook her head at everything. “You not knowing is eating at me, now.”

_“Then maybe you need to go talk to Kara, too.”_

* * *

Supergirl couldn’t talk to Kara, but Kara could talk to Alex. On her couch, she opened up. “I am in the weirdest place with Lena.”

“What happened?”

“She’s sharing all of herself with me, but I haven’t done the same, obviously.” Kara sighed. “It hurt and it ate at her until it boiled over. She lashed out at Supergirl and then called Kara Danvers over to pour her heart out to. She cried out all her pain and now she blames herself for not dealing with her emotions sooner. She doesn’t want Supergirl to tell her who she is until we’ve put this behind us.” She shook her head, her throat tightening. “I feel like I’ve created a monster.”

Alex tilted her head to the side. “She’s probably not wrong that she should’ve dealt with her emotions sooner. We all have to learn that the hard way.”

Kara sighed again. “It’s also true that I was so eager to learn about her that I made her do most of the talking. None of that changes the fact that I put her through this.”

“Maybe not, but be careful with words like ‘make’. I doubt you'll ever make Lena Luthor do anything.”

“Stop using her full name.”

Alex nodded, then considered something. “Are you saying you want to tell Lena?”

“She’s so committed to our relationship, Alex. In her eyes, she’s fighting for us. I don’t know what more assurance I could hope to see.”

Alex nodded slowly and frowned. “But if you tell her now, she’ll feel like you don’t trust her.”

“Yeah – wait, what?”

“If she says she wants to fight for your relationship as it is now, and you tell her, will she take it as a mercy or as a vote of no confidence?”

Kara paused. “She wouldn’t like it,” she realized.

“If you take this challenge away from her, she might take it to mean that you don’t believe in her. That’d undermine everything.”

Kara sighed. “Now I’m the one who aches because she doesn’t know all of me.”

“Kara, you’re part of a team now. Sometimes that means working through each other’s weaknesses. She played by your rules and now you have to play by hers.” Alex pulled Kara closer on the couch, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. “From the way you talk, it sounds like, despite what's happened, you and Lena have a good thing going. Try not to count the days until you can tell her.”

“Easier said than done.”

“Kara, you insisted to me that you’re your real self with her, remember? Give her lots of that while things smooth out.”

Kara nodded to herself. “I think I can do that. I’ll try.”

* * *

Lena looked … complicated. That was the best way Kara could put it. She looked both happy and sad when she saw Supergirl. She looked both comfortable and hesitant as she sat down across from her. “Before we do anything,” Kara said firmly, “I need to say something.”

Lena nodded expectantly. “Go ahead.”

“I hate that I caused you pain,” Kara began, her voice becoming unsteady. “You said you don’t want me to, but if you ask, now or any time, I’ll tell you who I am.”

Lena smiled and grew more confident. “I won't ask and you aren't responsible for my heart. I am. My turn to say something: my behavior at my apartment was horrible. I apologize from the bottom of my heart.”

Kara shook her head. “Thank you, but, Lena, Kara told me you were coming apart last night. How can you be alright so soon? Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m not great, but I'm sure that I'm stable. I know what lying to myself feels like, now, and I'm not doing that. I think the problem was that I tried to do this alone. I said this would only work if we had perfect communication, remember? If I'd communicated more with you – and consulted more with Kara – I wouldn’t have had a breakdown.”

Kara’s misgivings remained. “What about now? Are you trying to be strong by yourself?”

Lena shook her head. “No. I'm going to be more transparent with you and schedule more Kara in my life. I haven't seen her as much since we started dating. That was a mistake.”

 _If you only knew,_ Kara thought. “Lena, Kara gave me the harshest dressing-down of my life yesterday. She's right, you deserve better than half a girlfriend. Why don't you want me to tell you?”

Lena offered her a small smile. “I do want you to, but not like this. I want it to be a happy moment, not a heavy one.”

“I have to ask one more time: are you absolutely, positively sure you want to go on like this?” Kara asked, still feeling twinges of guilt. “This isn’t normal and you shouldn’t expect yourself to be okay with it. Why do you think this will go any better than before?”

“Because I’m not going to just let things happen. I have a plan now and I have support to lean on. K-Zors,” Lena smiled, “your other half will be worth the wait.”

Kara sighed. “Why do you have to trust me so much?”

Lena smirked. “It’s your own fault for being worthy of it.” Seriousness replaced the smirk. “That's what I want this relationship to be built on. Not how we feel in the moment, but our trust.”

Kara squeezed her eyes shut. “The more you talk, the more I want to tell you.”

“Look at me.” Kara obeyed. “I’ve put you through a lot, too. When you tell me, I want to believe that the sole reason is that you're excited for me to know. Please, let's put the feelings of the past few days behind us first.”

Kara acquiesced. “Okay, Lena. What do you want to do now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with me this far! As always, I love to hear your comments :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me this far :) I know I've put you through a lot.

They went to a park again, this time by the bay. The park had a trail of fitness stations and they stopped at each, Kara using her Kryptonite ring to stay challenged. Even so, she outperformed Lena with ease. “I work out,” Lena said, “but you are still on another level.”

Kara smirked. “I had our scientists use just enough Kryptonite so that I’d still be really athletic.”

“I suppose it would be odd if your performance didn’t match your body.”

Kara’s smirk grew. “Nice justification. How do you find time to exercise?”

“Gym on the ground floor of my apartment building, first thing in the morning. It’s the only way I can fit it in.”

“You gotta do what you gotta do.” Kara stretched. The familiar ease of their conversation began to assuage her misgivings about the situation. “What's the best part of being a Luthor?”

“Oh, wow, another hard-hitting question.” Lena looked at Kara with a small smile. “You first. What’s the best part of being a Super?”

Looking into Lena's eyes, Kara knew what she was really saying: _‘You share more of yourself first’._ That was new, but she was glad. “The gratitude in people’s eyes.”

Lena smiled. “That doesn’t need much explaining, does it?”

Kara smiled back. “I think it needs a little. It's not an approval thing, like I'm craving people’s thanks. It's seeing how much of a difference I made to them. That’s what makes all the heroics feel meaningful. Remember when you told me about having power that you didn’t ask for and not being able to live a normal life?”

Lena hummed and nodded.

“I tried for twelve years to live a normal life,” Kara continued. “It wasn’t bad, but the whole time, I was aware that I wasn’t normal. Every month, it seemed like there was another thing I could’ve helped with, if only I could be not normal for just one minute.”

“Until the airliner,” Lena noted.

“I couldn’t just stand by and watch when I could do something for those people that no one else could.”

“You know, I’ve wondered about that. Was that the first big emergency you saw?”

Kara’s brow furrowed. “Kind of. I mean, it happened right overhead and I knew they wouldn’t get a good look at me …”

“You’re not really telling me,” Lena observed.

Kara sighed. “I’m not.”

To her surprise, Lena smiled. “I realized yesterday that if I’m not running into your boundaries, I’m not really trying to learn about you. Don’t feel bad; this is progress. Alright, then, the best part of being a Luthor …”

Kara smirked. “And don't give me some crap about the ‘least worst’ part.”

Lena laughed. “The best part was the high standard for achievement. You’re expected to do your best and your best is expected to be outstanding. Now, combined with a mother who was impossible to please, it was awful, but it taught me not to make excuses for myself. I couldn’t lead L-Corp if I hadn’t been trained to believe that if I want something, I can make it happen.”

“That’s powerful stuff,” Kara admired.

“I think …” Lena wet her lips. “That’s a part of why this was hard for me. Knowing you were holding back made me feel frustrated and powerless, which are things a Luthor is not allowed to be. I stopped asking questions because, in my frustration, I wanted you to volunteer what you were willing to share. That wasn’t reasonable because you were focused on learning about me – which I appreciate,” she added. “I know you blame yourself for how I felt, but I think I needed to learn what I can control in a relationship and what I can’t.”

Kara sighed. “I’m still concerned that you’re justifying the pain I caused you.”

Lena shook her head. “Listen. This hurt, but if it hadn’t been this, it would’ve been something else, even if I knew. I realize that this isn’t normal, but like you said, neither are you. I can live with this for a while longer.”

“If you get upset like that again,” Kara warned, “I’m telling you whether you like it or not.”

The corner of Lena’s mouth quirked. “Well, far be it from me to argue with Supergirl.”

“Don’t say that.” Kara turned Lena to face her. “I’m not above you. I’m not better or more deserving. Your voice matters just as much as mine. Maybe I need to tell you who I am to bring myself down to Earth for you.”

Lena smiled and shook her head. “K-Zors, let’s relax and enjoy each other.”

Kara filled with wistful tenderness. “I want you to enjoy all of me.”

The woman blushed with a soft smile. “I will, soon, but if you tell me now, it'll feel like a confession. I know you feel that way. Do you understand why I don’t want that in our relationship?”

Kara bit her lip and nodded. “I only get to tell you once and you want it to be a good memory.”

“Exactly.”

“Alright.” Kara took a breath. “I’m on board. I want you to be happy, Lena.” When Lena smiled, she felt her own smile come easier.

* * *

As promised, Lena called Kara Danvers. _“I haven’t seen enough of my best friend lately. Can I come by your place this evening?”_

That was new. Lena had only been inside her apartment the one time and she hadn’t stayed long. “Sure, please! I want to see you, too.”

When Lena knocked on her door, Kara tried not to shine too much. “I hope you don’t mind that I invited myself over,” Lena said as she entered.

“Oh, no, not at all! I’m happy to have you.”

“Thank you.” Lena smiled. “I wanted to see a home – and talk, too, of course.”

Kara had an idea what Lena meant, but she asked anyway. “A home?”

“I live more of my life in my office than anywhere else. I like it, but I can’t put too much of my own mark on it.” Lena gave her a taut smile. “Visiting businessmen would look around and think, ‘Oh, look, a woman decorating’.”

“Do you just kind of crash at your apartment?”

Lena nodded. “It’s a place to sleep at night and get a little work done. I spend most of my time there in bed or at my desk. Would you show me around?”

“Um, sure. Let me take your coat.” Kara hung it on a hook by the door. “First, I guess, here’s my kitchen.”

Lena perused with more attention than Kara had ever given a kitchen. “I would’ve thought your fridge would be covered with pictures and magnets, but it’s bare,” she observed.

Kara shook her head. “I have all my pictures hung over my desk.” She led Lena further into her space.

“It’s a lot like Supergirl described hers,” Lena said as she looked around. “White walls, broken up with brick and splashes of color. She did say it was similar to yours.” Kara made a noise of agreement. “I like how it’s light without being harsh,” Lena continued. “Light wood, splashes of sky blue …” She reached the living room. “You have quite an eclectic collection of furniture.”

Kara ducked her head. “It’s all secondhand and fixer-uppers.”

“You wouldn’t know from looking. It’s very you. It reminds me of the way you dress.”

“Yeah?”

Lena smiled. “Yeah. Oh, these must be the pictures you mentioned.” She walked to where rows of pictures were clothespinned to strings over Kara’s desk.

“It’s kind of like my favorite memories crossed with a mood board.” Kara saw a flicker of sadness on Lena’s face. “Something wrong?”

Lena dropped her eyes and sighed. “You read me too well.”

“I’m observant. Reporter, remember?”

“I was just thinking …” She sighed again. “I don’t have a collection of memories like this. I mean, this is your sister, right? Alex?” She pointed to a photo of Kara and Alex together. “And are these your parents in this one?” Kara nodded. “After everything that’s … I don’t have photos of my family.”

It broke Kara’s heart. “Come to game night.”

Lena smiled an uncomfortable smile. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your time with your friends.”

“Lena, you are my friend.”

“You know me, but your friends don’t. You don’t need a Luthor elephant in the room.”

“They’ll trust that I wouldn’t bring anyone who didn’t belong there. Please, Lena.”

Lena swallowed. “I’ll think about it.” Kara didn’t push. “Mind if we talk about our mutual friend?”

Kara nodded. If this was how Lena wanted her to help, then she’d do it. “How are things with her?”

“They’re … mind if we sit?”

“Of course, please.” They went to Kara’s couch and settled in.

“Things with Supergirl are … promising,” Lena began with a small smile. “I saw her yesterday and we’re getting back into it. After what happened, I think it started out weird for both of us, but it’s so easy to feel comfortable with her. I think she’s having a harder time than me, actually.”

Kara frowned. “You don’t get over breaking someone’s heart in a day.”

The brunette shook her head. “She didn’t break my heart.”

“Lena, I’ve seen broken hearts before. That’s exactly what that was.”

Lena tilted her head side-to-side and smiled gently. “I still think it’s more complicated than you do. More than anything, though, I want to her to believe that I’m alright.”

“Are you?”

“I feel a sense of … calm, now, about what we’re doing. I call that ‘alright’.”

Kara nodded. She wondered if she ought to feel this comfortable being Lena’s confidant, but caring for her flowed so naturally. “How is your plan going?”

“It’s … harder than I thought.” When Kara frowned, Lena smiled and waved a hand. “No, not emotionally harder. I mean coming up with questions. I’m still a novice at forming friendships and this goes far deeper than that. Yesterday, I deflected one of her questions back at her. It felt wonderful to hear her open up more, but, after that, we slipped back into the old pattern of her making me feel comfortable and me doing most of the talking. I need to have questions ready in advance, otherwise I’ll probably forget to ask them. Would you help me brainstorm?”

Kara wet her lips and considered what Lena had yet to learn about her. “Hmm. Have you talked to her much about being Supergirl?”

“Some,” Lena answered.

“How about her childhood?”

“That, too.”

“I guess,” Kara said slowly, “I would try questions that get at who she is on the inside. Maybe … how she felt while adjusting to Earth?”

Lena pursed her lips. “We got into that a little bit. That’s how I got the idea for the ring. Did she tell you about that?”

Kara beamed. “That meant the world to her, Lena.” She flashed back to the smell of grass, the dry air filling her lungs, planting her foot and squaring her hips for the shot … “I can’t remember the last time she was as happy as after she scored her first soccer goal. There must be lots more to the story of her youth, though. Learning how she grew into the woman she is seems like the next best thing to learning about who she is now.”

Lena’s smile was both sweet and self-deprecating. “I’m an idiot for not talking to you more, you know that?”

Kara hid her twinge of guilt and spoke gently. “A mistake – if you made one – doesn’t make you an idiot. I can’t wait for you to start believing in yourself, Lena.”

Lena looked away, but her smile remained. “I’m learning from a couple people who do. What else might I ask her about?”

“Things about Supergirl, probably. How does she see herself? How does she see the people she helps? Does she see the city differently because of her alien origin?” Kara smiled and laid her head on the couch back. “Just get into what makes her who she is. That’s what matters anyway, right?”

Lena’s smile grew. “You’re making me want to talk to her right now.”

Kara tried to keep her expression unchanged. “Do you want some privacy to call her?”

Lena considered it. “No, I can wait. My relationship with you is important, too.”

“Awww, Lena.” Kara had to consciously keep her hands to herself.

The CEO made herself more comfortable on the couch. “How are you, Kara? This is the second time in a row we’ve only talked about me. How’s work?”

Kara smiled and told Lena everything she wished she could share as her girlfriend.

* * *

Leaning on her office's balcony railing, Lena asked Supergirl, “With your vision, what do you see when you look out at the city?”

Kara was quiet for a time before her lips curled into a smile. “I see a father and daughter playing fetch with a beagle in Grant Park. I see a boy going out of his way to hold a door for a lady carrying too many groceries. I see a wedding at the Presidium. I see ...” Her smile faded and turned heavy. “I see a firefighter going back into a building for a child's mother. There are two police officers on 23rd and Monroe, trying to talk down some teens who are in over their heads with a gang. There's a memorial service at Sacred Heart Cathedral for someone who left a lot of family and friends behind. I see …” She shut her eyes and took a shuddering breath. “I don’t normally do that.”

Lena’s voice filled with sudden concern. “Do what? Are you okay?”

“Look closely at everyone. There's just _so much.”_ Kara brushed away a tear and sniffed. “People talk about what a big heart I have, but I can’t bear the hopes and fears of an entire city. All I can do is represent hope and stand up to fear. I try my hardest and hope it's enough.”

She felt a touch on her hand. Soft and hesitant, but honest. She looked at Lena and smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments encouraged, as always :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not far from the end now :)

Instead of becoming more difficult, talking with Lena as Supergirl grew easier as Lena learned more about her. Her shoulders felt lighter, as though unfettered from a burden she forgot she carried. Lena noticed. “You’re standing even taller than you do in your super-suit.

Kara shrugged and smiled. “I feel good.”

“Any particular reason?”

Kara reached out for and squeezed Lena's hand, her smile growing wider. “I like being with me when I'm with you.” As Lena laughed, the wind blew Kara's hair in her face, but she didn’t put it up. Lena would surely recognize her in a bun or a ponytail. Instead, she turned so the wind blew her hair back.

Lena looked into her eyes. “We've talked a lot about my family, but not much about yours. Would you tell me about them?”

“On Krypton?”

Lena nodded. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Like you probably guessed, I was an only child. Until a year ago, I thought I had the best parents in the universe. Then I found out that my mother used me as bait to arrest my aunt, who was a terrorist. My father told me he was a scientist working to save lives, but he was actually creating the Medusa virus. He imagined he was defending our planet, but what if an invading race retreated and carried the virus with them? It could've spread and killed billions. Now they’re gone and there’s no way to …” Kara wasn’t sure what she wanted to say.

“Let them redeem themselves?”

“Yes! Exactly.” Lena looked away. “What is it?” Kara asked.

Lena sighed. “Please don’t take this the wrong way; I guess I assumed they were as wonderful as you.”

“At their best, they were even better, but I think we all have a dark side. I got to know mine far too well last year. You heard about the day I went all evil?” The noise Lena made suggested that she had. “That was every little bad thought uninhibited and amplified. I have all that in me, but I don’t let it fester. I choose to live my good thoughts and feelings.” Kara smiled into Lena's eyes. “Just like you.”

Lena blinked repeatedly, looking down and away. “I haven't felt this loved since my father died.”

Kara took both of Lena’s hands. “May I kiss your cheek again?” After a pause, Lena nodded. Kara leaned in and planted a peck on her soft skin, then pulled her into a hug.

Stepping back, Lena brushed her eyes and smiled. “May I change the subject?” Kara nodded. “What’s the most frustrating part of being an alien?”

Kara thought for a moment, then smirked. “Finding a comfortable bra.”

Lena laughed. “I didn’t see that coming.”

“You commented on my physique before. Feel my back and my sides – if you’re comfortable.”

Lena nodded and pushed her hand against Kara’s back. “We just hugged, but yes, you’re hard.”

“Try finding a bra that fits exactly right when your V-shaped upper body has no give at all.”

Lena made a face. “Oof.”

“Yeah.” Kara turned serious. “While I'm at it, do you want to know the most frustrating part of being Supergirl?” Lena nodded. “What drives me up the wall is the phrase ‘innocent people'. ‘There are innocent people in there', ‘Hundreds of innocent lives are at stake', and all that. It’s B.S. I’m here to protect _people_. Why do we need to qualify it? I want to save the guilty just as much as the innocent. If there were a building about to collapse, would you say, ‘There are hundreds of innocent people, but forget about the two white-collar criminals and the domestic abuser'? No. Their lives aren't worth less because they've chosen to use them to hurt others. They should face justice and be prevented from doing more harm, but they are still worth saving. As long as there’s any chance of getting through to them, I won't leave anyone behind. Take the looter in the convenience store after the earthquake. Did you see that photo of him handing me his gun?” Lena nodded. “He didn’t know I wasn’t invulnerable at the ti-”

“You weren’t?!”

“No. I could've wrestled him for the gun or stalled until a cop came and shot him, but that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted his life to go on and be better for it. I offered him mercy and he accepted.” Lena opened her mouth, but Kara continued, “I know that won’t work every time, maybe not even most of the time, but I'll never know if I don’t try.”

Lena blinked against damp eyes. “We don’t deserve you.”

“How many times have you told me that this,” Kara gestured to Lena and herself, “shouldn’t be about what we deserve? Why would I treat others any differently?”

Lena stared at her. “I feel like I've stepped into the _Wonder Woman_ movie.”

Kara blushed and smiled. “I mean, I guess I am a superhero – but I don’t think love, faith, and hope are superpowers. Or maybe they are, but everybody has them, if they want to use them.” Lena laughed. “What? I'm serious!”

Lena put her hand on Kara's arm. “I know. I'm laughing because I'm happy. I don't believe in gods, but you are an angel.” Kara made a melty face and slipped her arm around Lena's waist, letting Lena hold her shoulders. “May I ask about something lighter?” Kara nodded. “Do you ever get songs stuck in your head while you’re being Supergirl?”

Kara snorted. “I'm always occupied, Lena.”

“I mean just while you’re flying from A to B.”

“Not really. I fly either to get somewhere important or when I've got a lot on my mind.”

Lena smiled. “But if you were going to save the world to music, what would it be?”

Kara paused, then grinned. “Oh, _Doctor Who._ There's-”

“Whoa, hold on.” Lena stopped and faced her. _“You_ watch campy science fiction?”

“It's good! Wi- My friend got me into it.”

“But,” Lena glanced around and lowered her voice, “you’re an actual alien!"

Kara smirked. “So? That just makes it funnier when they accidentally get close to a real species.”

“Do you spend the whole time pointing out what’s wrong?”

Kara glanced away, trying not to smile and failing. “Maybe …”

Lena laughed. “Back to the song. It's from the soundtrack?”

“Yes, it’s called ‘[The Majestic Tale Of A Madman In A Box](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCHfVZIAZ6s)'. It's so, just, like, _determined._ Plus, it's in seven-eight, which is objectively the best time signature.”

Lena smirked. “You pick that over ‘Fight Song’?”

Kara's grin shone like her powerful eyes. _“This is my fight song! Take back my life song!”_

Lena joined in. “ _Prove I'm alright soooo-ong!”_

Walking again, Kara took her hand and swung it between them. “Lena, that’s definitely _your_ song. You've taken back your life and proved you’re alright. Who cares if nobody else believes?”

Lena smiled with adoration.

“Finish it, Lena.”

Lena glanced down and met Kara's eyes again. “I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.”

“I might be Supergirl, but you’re the strongest person I know.”

Lena glanced down again – at her mouth, Kara realized – parted her own lips and stepped closer. Before Kara could gather her wits, Lena closed the distance and hugged her. Kara nodded against her in understanding. “Soon?”

“Soon.”

* * *

When Kara heard about the upcoming National City charity gala, she half expected Lena to ask Kara Danvers to accompany her. She was half right; a few days out, Lena called Supergirl. _“Might I have the pleasure of your company to the big event on Friday night? I have to go or else I’ll look heartless.”_

Kara’s heart leapt and sank again. “I’d love to, but … how would you introduce me?”

_“Would you be comfortable coming as Supergirl?”_

“Uh …”

_“The theme this year is a masquerade, so you’ll have an eye mask and I'll buy you a gown. They’re very careful not to let reporters and paparazzi inside, too.”_

“Lena, I'm going to be mobbed once we get in, aren't I? I'll spend the whole evening making painfully polite apologies for not dancing with every single man there. Besides, what am I going to talk to people about?”

_“Hmmm …”_

“All I could do is hang on your arm all night, which might make people think we're together. If that rumor got started, we couldn’t ever have a public relationship under my human name.” Kara sighed. “Didn’t you take Kara Danvers to one of these things before?”

Lena sighed back. _“Like I said, no reporters.”_

“I’m sorry, Lena. I'd like nothing more than to be your plus-one. I just don’t see how we can do it.”

* * *

Three hours later, her phone rang again; James Olsen for Kara Danvers. _“Kara, I have an odd request for you. The organizers of the big charity ball want Supergirl to be their guest of honor. Would you get in touch with her about it?”_

“Uh …” Kara supposed James was within earshot of others. “Can you give me any details for her?”

_“They want her to say a few words to the guests and generally mingle.”_

Kara compressed her lips. “Between you and me, she doesn’t like to be at the beck and call of the rich and powerful. They can’t just crook a finger and expect Supergirl to show up and make them feel good about themselves.”

_“I understand. Talk to her about it and let me know what she decides.”_

“Wait a few hours and then tell them she refused. Bye, James.”

Kara frowned at her phone. Something about that request really wound her up. It was only a few days before the event, too. Rao, was she not even their first choice? She changed her number and made another call. “Lena? About the ball. I want to make a point about how relationships matter more than social standing. I’ll drop by your office to discuss how I can come.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why yes, I _am_ setting up the climax of the story. How did you guess?
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's commented already. You always make for entertaining and interesting reading.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so's you know, this is the last story chapter. The next is a deleted scene that I still want to share.
> 
> At the time of writing, I still haven't watched past 305, so don't lose it if I contradict canon. Also, btw, Rao is the name of the Kryptonian sun god because it's the name of the sun.

Exiting the back seat of Lena's chauffeured Mercedes, Kara thanked Rao for her mask. It hid her stunned stare; the walk from the curb to the mansion’s entrance looked exactly like Hollywood. It also looked long and intimidating. People with microphones and cameras crowded the stanchions on either side of the red carpet. Not wearing her super-suit had been an extremely good decision. Instead, she wore a gown of the same blue color. Lena refused to tell her how much it cost. Hidden in her cleavage – not something she'd normally do, but desperate times and so on – were a pair of small golden earrings in the shape of her family crest, to be worn once inside. Lena wouldn’t talk about them, either, but they must've been ordered and handmade in two days or less. Kara suspected they were solid gold.

Up the carpet, she stayed half a step behind Lena; appropriate for a guest, not a significant other. She blocked out the flashes and the noise, focusing on placing one foot in front of the other. The doorman opened the way for them and, mercifully, they passed through. A man in a tuxedo met them and ushered them aside. “Miss Luthor, I'm sorry to trouble you, but you left the name of your guest blank on your RSVP and didn’t return our calls. I must have her name.”

Lena smiled and looked at Kara. “My name is Supergirl,” she said simply.

The man blinked. “Excuse me?”

Kara gave him a sweet smile and made her eyes glow. “Supergirl. Spelled with an ‘S’.”

“Uh …” The man regained his composure. “Very well. I need a first and last name.”

Kara cocked her head. “Girl, comma, Super?”

“Please be serious, ma'am.”

Kara turned serious. “There are five people in the universe who know my Kryptonian name. Put me down as Supergirl in whatever form you like.”

“… Very well.” The man retreated.

Lena smirked. “Don’t enjoy yourself too much.”

Kara turned her back to the room, extracted her earrings, and put them on. “I’m fine, I just needed to get that out of my system.”

Lena’s eyes were wide and her first words breathless. “Good, because we'll be making introductions all evening.”

They made it work. The most important thing, they had decided, was for Supergirl to seem independent. She wasn’t welded to Lena’s side, nor was she there at the behest of the organizers. “No, a friend invited me,” she told those who asked.

“Who?”

“Lena Luthor.” Kara got used to the stares. She wasn’t so bad at mingling, either. It pushed some of her introvert buttons, but, as a reporter, she was becoming accustomed to acting at home in places she didn’t belong. Most of the people she talked to probably didn’t believe she was Supergirl anyway. She kept at it until the music started and the ballroom floor cleared, then rejoined Lena. They stood a safe distance away from the proceedings so as not to be asked to dance. With her mask, Kara found Lena’s expression difficult to read; something like disapproval with a hint of longing. “Did you ever learn to dance, Lena?” She asked.

Lena waved her wrist at the room. “I learned to sway along with men at galas. I wouldn’t call it the same thing as ballroom dancing like this.”

Kara smiled. “My Earth parents put me in dance lessons after I'd spent a couple months on the planet. It helped me get attuned to moving with my new strength and speed.”

“Solo dancing, right? Did you do ballroom, too?”

“I graduated to ballroom after a few years. My parents made me learn both follow and lead, which helped my confidence with physical contact. Before that, I was nervous about touching anyone outside my family for fear of hurting them.”

“Did you dance before you came here?”

Kara smirked. “My parents tried, but it was always my second choice. All I wanted to do was kick and throw and chase balls around. All this to say …” Kara extend her hand with a flourish. “May I have this dance?”

Lena stepped closer to prevent others from seeing Kara’s proffered hand. “Is this a good idea? Other people will want to dance with us, too. It’ll raise eyebrows if we only dance with each other. Besides, you’d have to start me from square one.”

“I can do that.” ~~~~

“Alright. How about we dance somewhere else?”

“Let's …” Kara considered. “I noticed the big stairs to the second floor were roped off. Let's sneak up there.”

Lena grinned. “Supergirl breaking a rule?”

“We definitely don’t want to be spotted dancing alone, do we? No one will see us up there and we'll still hear the music.”

“Alright, lead the way.”

Kara looked around and located the old servants' stairs. “This way.” Like the grand stairs, the door to them was cordoned off with stanchions, but nobody was nearby nor looking in their direction. They slipped through unnoticed. Kara grinned. “I'm sneaking out of a party and through a mansion. I feel so _Pink Panther.”_

They hummed the theme as they ascended the stairs and exited onto the second floor. On one side, it overlooked the entrance and gala; on the other was a wide open space below a long, high window. “There’s our private ballroom.”

Lena put her hand in Kara's. “Alright, Supergirl. What do I do?”

“First, relax. There’s no pressure, Lena. You’re going to lose the beat and step on my feet. Everyone does.”

Lena huffed. “Good to know.”

“Okay, the fundamental thing is your frame – how you stand. You want to stand straight and hold yourself firm but not rigid. Basically, if I press on your back, your whole body needs to come with it. With me so far?”

“Makes sense.”

“The way we stand is close to each other, like this. My right arm goes here.” Kara put a firm hand between Lena’s shoulder blades and watched her girlfriend’s eyelids flutter behind her mask. She smiled. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Lena said in a breathy voice.

“Is this going to be okay?” Kara looked at her with concern. “I don’t want to do something that’s too much for you.”

Lena smiled. “No, this is another part of yourself that you’re sharing with me. This is good.”

“Then put your left hand on my shoulder and your right hand in mine.” Lena did so, bringing her face close to Kara's. “Now, if we want to be all fancy, we get even closer, look over each other's shoulders, and hold our arms straight out like this.” Kara demonstrated.

She heard Lena grin. “I feel like a princess.”

Kara backed off so she had Lena's eyes again. “We’ll start with some space between us so you don’t trip over me as much. Next, remember what I said about frame? I'm going to walk you around like this. Think about my pushes and pulls moving your whole body together. Start with your right foot.” Kara walked backwards and maintained the firm tension in her arm on Lena's back. Lena moved with her. “Good. Now, backwards. This is going to come through our hands. Again, right foot.” Kara let off the pressure on Lena's back and stepped forwards, keeping her outstretched arm firm. Lena moved backwards. Kara walked her to the wall, then put pressure on her back again. She reversed her direction and Lena, after a half-second of surprise, came with her. “Nice, you're catching on quick. We can do that the other way, too.” Kara rocked back on her foot and reversed them again. “Now, to turn, just don’t think about it and keep your feet moving.”

“Don’t think about it. Right.” Even so, Lena followed Kara's movements and pressures.

“You’re doing great, Lena.”

Lena gave a self-deprecating chuckle. “Well, we aren't really dancing yet.”

Kara smirked and arched an eyebrow, although her mask blocked Lena's view of the latter. “Stay firm and let me move you.” Kara brought her left arm in and angled her right hand against Lena's back, causing her to open her stance away from Kara. Then, she lifted her left hand and pushed gently with her right, guiding Lena under and turning her through. As they faced each other, now at arm’s length, Lena grinned. “Stay firm and follow your hand,” Kara reminded her. She drew Lena's hand towards her, up, and to her right. Lena turned under her arm and slotted back into their close position with Kara's hand on her back.

“I see why people like this,” Lena murmured.

“I love that it can be as fun or intimate as you want. Want to try it with the music?”

“By all means.” Lena's voice stayed low.

“Alright.” Kara listened to the music drifting up from below. “Okay. This dance is a foxtrot. It's two slow steps, then two quick ones. For you, it's going to go, ‘right, left, right-left, right, left, right-left’. Try standing in place and lifting your heels in time with the music.” After a few moments, Lena seemed confident staying on the beat. “Great. So, the thing with foxtrot is it's an around-the-floor dance. Basically, we travel on the long steps and change angle on the quick ones to zig-zag around a big rectangle. Forget the music for a minute and let me walk you through it.”

A minute later, in time with the music, Kara led Lena in a full circuit of their private dance floor. Lena made a few stumbles on direction changes, but Kara felt her growing more comfortable in her arms. “I like foxtrot because you can just glide around the room. We're going to start making bigger changes on the angles, okay? Just let me move you.” Kara lengthened her strides and stretched their zig-zag path into long, sweeping lines. Lena barely kept up, but she was smiling, so Kara kept at it and let her grow into it.

By the time the song ended, Lena seemed more comfortable than not. Kara relaxed and Lena moved her extended hand to Kara's other shoulder. She smiled, chin tilted down and eyes glittering behind her mask. “I’ve never been swept off my feet before.”

Kara smirked. “There was that time when I picked you up and flew you away.”

Lena softened her smile and gave Kara's shoulder a light squeeze. “This was better.” A new song wafted up from below. “How do you dance to this one?”

Kara tilted her head and listened. “This one you know.” She put her arms around Lena's waist.

Lena shut her eyes for a second and smirked. “Slow dance.”

Kara smiled and swayed. “Mhmm.”

Lena went with it. “After foxtrot, it seems so much less interesting.”

“It's not really about being interesting. It's about feeling intimate,” Kara said quietly, and coaxed Lena closer.

Lena let her draw her in until their bodies were almost touching. “It’s been a while since you played seductress with me.” Kara's face flashed with sudden guilt, until she noticed Lena's smirk. She bit her lip and Lena chuckled. “My turn.”

She melted into Kara, upper arms on her shoulders, forehead-to-forehead, breast-to-breast. They had to tilt their heads down to keep their masks from clashing, which charged every look with allure. In a minute, Lena's eyes were flicking down to her lips and back. Kara gulped. “Lena?”

Lena’s voice flowed out sultry. “Zor-El?”

Kara took a deep breath. Kissing her best friend while disguised … “Are you sure?”

Lena smirked again. “Isn’t this the traditional point of a masquerade?”

“But we’re not strangers.”

“Then there's no problem,” Lena murmured. She wet her lips and pressed even closer.

Kara looked at Lena’s lips, bit her own, and glanced around – and was glad she did. “Security camera.”

Lena stiffened and swore. “Do you want to stop dancing?”

“That’s already on camera, so I don’t mind. Do you?”

Lena sighed and parted their bodies. “I don’t think I can get back into it when I know we're being watched.”

“I guess we can either go outside or back to the party.”

“Outside, then. We’ll still have eyes on us, though.”

Kara looked for options. “There, those doors open onto a balcony.”

“Sounds good.”

Outside, Kara checked sightlines and found that if they stood to one side, they were invisible from the terrace below. “We’re good.”

Lena slipped her arm around Kara’s waist and Kara reciprocated with one around her shoulders. “Enough with these masks,” Lena said. She took hers off and rested it on the wide railing. Kara’s joined it. Lena smiled at Kara and turned her head to the night sky. “Can you see Rao from here?”

“For the week after I landed, I stayed up late into the night trying to find it,” Kara answered. “You can’t see it with all the city lights, but right now, it would be about … there.” She pointed. “About twenty degrees right of the L-Corp building and fifteen above the horizon.”

“Could you see it from where you grew up?”

“No, still too much light. The first new moon after I landed, my parents bought a telescope and we took it on a camping trip up in the mountains. It was …” Kara took a breath. “The light pollution on Krypton was even worse than here. You couldn’t see stars, period. That first night camping, out in the wilderness and the clear mountain air, was the first time I ever really saw the stars.”

“What about in your pod?”

“That … I was too much in shock to appreciate it, or else I was asleep. That night, though, we could see every star in the sky.” She paused for a moment, remembering, and let Lena hold her closer. “It took my parents half an hour to find Rao with the telescope. That itself was hard to take. When I finally got to look through the scope at it, it was just a faintly reddish speck. I couldn’t … I couldn’t wrap my head around it.” Kara took a shuddering breath. “Rao was huge, Lena, a red giant, and now I was so far away it was barely a pinpoint. I stared at it until it passed out of the field of view, and then I cried. Alex pulled me to a camp chair and set me in her lap. She held me until I'd cried my eyes out. Then I looked up again, and I realized that every point of light I saw was a star just like Rao, each of which might have planets with people on them. I felt so small, like I was nothing, and my family and my home had been just one among trillions in the universe, and nobody would miss them or even notice they were gone.” Lena gently switched their arms around, so she held Kara's shoulders and Kara clung to her waist. The dam had burst and the words kept coming. “I felt like I'd vanished with them, like there was nothing left of Kara Zor-El. Everything that defined my life was gone.” The arm around her shoulders held her closer still. “I started crying again, and then Alex – she must've been dying to say something to help me – just said, ‘Kara, I’m here’. And suddenly, I wasn’t alone. I didn’t know who I was, or what I was going to do, but I had someone again. I took her hands and gripped them so hard I hurt her, but she didn’t make a sound. In the morning, she had bruises on them and two of her fingers in a splint, but when I needed her she was simply there for me. When I calmed down, she started teaching me the constellations. She knew all of them, not just the easy ones. She asked Mom for paper, pen, and a flashlight, and she drew Pegasus and Pisces, then held them up overhead so I could look at them and find the stars.”

Lena looked at the sky. “Where are they now?”

“You can’t see most of the stars in this light, but that one,” Kara pointed, “about forty degrees directly above the NC Mutual building, is part of Pegasus. Pisces would be over there, above the harbor. At first, it seemed silly to me to make pictures out of the stars. I knew they were all different distances away and would look completely different from another planet, but then I realized …” Kara took another breath. “That’s what makes a planet home. It's unique. Being small doesn’t mean it's not special. Being small didn’t mean I didn’t matter, or my family didn’t matter …” She paused again, her throat tightening. “And then I asked what the big bright band across the sky was. Alex said it was the Milky Way. She told me it was so many stars that they all blurred together, and said, ‘It’s beautiful, isn't it?’ In all the time I'd been staring up at the sky, Lena, that hadn't occurred to me. When she said that, though, it was like I took a step back and looked at it for what it was, not what it meant to me. Rao, it was beautiful. I just stared at it. I started thinking it was a good thing that all those stars had life around them. Like, my family was gone, but lots of other families were alive and happy, and that was good. I shed some more tears over it all and fell asleep in Alex's arms. In the morning, I woke up in the tent with her and she gave me a huge hug. We got up, went outside. Mom and Dad had rebuilt our fire and were making breakfast.” Kara smiled. “They had hot chocolate waiting for us. The air was cool and dry, the way it is in the mountains. I was still getting used to the way Earth smelled and tasted, but I liked it that morning. The blue sky, the yellow sunshine, the birdsongs … I felt like everything would be alright. I could call this place my home.”

Lena squeezed her close. “We’re glad to have you,” she whispered.

“It worked out,” Kara teased.

“I never got to go camping, growing up. Take me sometime. Show me the stars. Show me Rao.”

Kara smiled wide. “It would be such a pleasure, Lena.”

Lena went quiet. “You know, I think I've had enough partying.”

“Yeah? I guess we haven’t been partying for a while.” Kara X-rayed the mansion, looking for a clock. “It’s almost eleven, which isn't that late.”

Lena faced Kara with sudden purpose. “Let me take you home.”

Kara frowned. “I just spent all night telling people I'm Supergirl. We might be followed.”

“I'll leave in my car while you stay visible. Wait a few minutes, then meet me at the corner of Sunset and Hearst Avenue. My driver will make sure we aren’t followed from there.”

“What about bugs or trackers?”

Lena scoffed. “I’m Lena Luthor. My car has a radio jammer and a device that overloads electronics. It also has rotating license plates like in _Goldfinger.”_

“I hate to ask, but what about your driver?”

“We’ll drop him off somewhere.”

Kara smirked and donned her mask. “Alright, then, Bond. See you in a few.”

* * *

As they drove, Kara alternated between watching Lena and gazing out the window. Lena’s face faded into and out of a frown every minute or so. Kara worried they might’ve overdone it at the ball, but held her concerns while Lena drove. To her relief, Lena’s expression finally settled into a small smile.

When Lena turned onto her street, Kara's eyes went wide for three seconds, and then she smiled, too, and melted into her seat.

Lena glanced at her. “What’s got you glowing all of a sudden?”

Kara’s smile grew sweeter. “You know.”

Lena smiled back. “I do.” Kara couldn’t help but rest a hand on Lena's thigh. “Don’t distract me,” Lena warned. “This car is huge.”

“I won't.”

Lena parked a block up the street from Kara's apartment, not wanting to draw attention by the presence of a luxury car. They walked back and Kara let her in. “How about we get out of these clothes and get comfortable?”

“Please. Point me to what I can borrow.” Gowns came off and sweats went on, Lena in a tee and Kara in a tank. As they made themselves close and comfortable on the couch, Lena gave Kara a gentle poke in the ribs. “You played me. Why?” Her smile was apologetic, as though she wished she didn’t need to ask.

Though Lena’s eyes were reassuring, Kara still felt a lump in her throat. “You needed your friend Kara.”

“That was the caution you talked about?”

Kara nodded. “The thought of you hurt and alone …” She trailed off.

The brunette was quiet for a moment. “I came to the same conclusion in the car. I think you were right. That’s why I never asked you on a date.”

Kara gasped. ”You wanted to?”

Lena’s eyes went wide. “Of course I wanted to! Kara, you’re … you're everything I could dare hope for. I knew that before I started seeing Supergirl.”

“I’m just curious, then; why did you go out with her if you liked me?”

Lena’s expression softened. “She seemed like the closest thing to you I'd ever find,” she admitted. “There seemed to be no emotional risk, either, the way there would’ve been with you.”

“No, but you talked a lot about the risk to the city.”

Lena went quiet. “I could risk losing the city. I couldn’t risk losing you.”

Kara took her hands. “You’re not upset at all? I put you through more than anyone should have to go through.”

“You did,” Lena conceded, “but, Kara, my breakdown was still a team effort.”

“I’m still … Lena, when you were heartbroken and weeping, and then told me you didn’t want to know, it nearly killed me.”

“If you'd told me then, it might've killed me. I couldn’t have taken that when I was already overwrought.” Lena smiled wistfully and looked down at their joined hands. She sighed. “After that, if you'd told me deliberately, maybe I would've been upset with you, but you didn’t. You just opened yourself completely to me, like it was the most natural thing in the world for me to know not just your name, but everything.” Her smile turned fond, as though reliving the moment when Kara had bared her heart. She squeezed the blonde’s hands and met her eyes with only affection. “You didn’t even notice you told me.”

“And you didn’t say anything,” Kara pointed out.

“And interrupt you while you were pouring your heart out to me? Not a chance.”

Kara smiled. “When did you realize it?”

“About two seconds after you said ‘Kara Zor-El'.” Lena smiled back. “It’s a beautiful name.”

Kara smiled sweeter. “Kara, daughter of Zor of the stars.”

“Surely,” Lena said, “you are of the stars yourself.”

“Kara-El?” She shrugged. “My inner feminist agrees, but it's the last connection I have to my parents. When you say ‘Zor-El', I remember them.”

Lena’s eyes turned both bashful and pleased. “Mmm, one day I might be Lena Zor-El.”

“Ooh,” Kara replied, eyes twinkling, “I like the sound of that. In private, though. In public, how about Kara Luthor?” Lena looked taken aback. “What’s wro- oh, Lena.” Kara squeezed her hands. “This Super would absolutely take your family name.”

Lena blinked against damp eyes and looked at the ceiling. “I spent so much effort trying-”

Kara's touch on her cheek stopped her and gently brought her back. “To get away from that name,” she finished for her, keeping her hand in place. “To me, it's the name of the woman I love. I would wear it with pride.” She saw teardrops forming and wiped them with her thumb as they flowed. Lena shivered under her caresses. Her eyes closed and Kara, gazing upon her beautiful, vulnerable visage, wanted more than anything to – but no, not without permission. Not after what she’d done.

When Lena’s eyes opened again, Kara’s flickered down to her lips and back to meet damp green. She swallowed. “M-may I …?”

This time it was Lena’s arm on her back, Lena’s firm hand between her shoulder blades, drawing her in and bringing their lips to brush together. All lingering doubts of Lena’s acceptance vanished. Kara melted into the kiss, hand still cupping Lena’s cheek, and thanked Rao that Lena had done it. _Feeling_ that Lena wanted her was infinitely better than just hearing it. It made the kiss sweeter, warmer, growing as each poured her heart into it.

Neither wanted it to end; Kara felt it in the way that, every time their lips parted, they came back together like magnets. It had to, though, and they finally rested, forehead-to-forehead.

Green eyes gazed into hers, tears still evident in Lena’s breathing. “For so long,” Lena choked, “I was afraid to hope for this.”

Kara lost it at that, free of the weight of her secret and filled by the warmth she felt for Lena. Lena, pulling Kara by her waist, brought her closer, nearly into her lap. Kara threw her arms over Lena’s shoulders, buried her eyes in the crook of her neck, and cried. Lena held her.

When Kara recovered, uncounted minutes later, she lifted her head and asked, “This whole time, you really never suspected I was Supergirl?”

“Kara,” Lena said gently, “this is a city of millions of people. It was extremely unlikely that I knew Supergirl’s daytime persona.” She waved a hand, though Kara barely saw it from her position. “But that's beside the point. I thought I'd seen Danvers and Supergirl in the same place at the same time, so every time she reminded me of you, I figured it was just part of why you two were friends. I half-consciously wrote off all the overlap between your personas.”

Kara smiled. “I’m glad to hear I reminded you of me.” They burst out laughing, emotions flooding out in a much-needed release. “Really, Lena,” Kara finally continued, “it matters me that I haven't been two completely different people with you.”

“No, you were more like two thirds of yourself with me as Danvers and a different two thirds as Supergirl.”

Kara wet her lips. “Honestly, it feels weird to hear you refer to ‘Danvers’ as someone distinct from me.”

“To me, right now,” Lena said, speaking softly and caressing her back, “you're simply Kara.”

Kara smiled before continuing. “It's not that you’re wrong, though. For a while, I thought of Supergirl as what I do and Kara Danvers as who I am. Since I started seeing you, though, I’ve recognized that they're both things I do. Kara Zor-El is who I am.”

Tilting her head, Lena inquired, “I’d like to hear why you think you aren't Kara Danvers.”

Kara nodded. “I love being part of the Danvers family. In a way, it's powerful that I'm still choosing to be Kara Danvers. I could pick any name and background I want and the DEO would make it real, but I don't want to. I want to be Alex's sister and Eliza and Jeremiah’s daughter.” Her tone softened further. “At the same time, it is something I'm choosing. I adopted them just as much as they adopted me. That doesn’t mean Kara Danvers isn't real, but it does make it … adopted,” Kara finished with a shrug.

“There was Kara before Danvers,” Lena summarized, smiling into her eyes, “and there is Kara beyond Danvers.”

Kara smiled back. “How am I the one with the writing job?” Lena giggled and kissed her. “I liked that,” Kara said simply.

Lena raised an eyebrow. “Shall we do it again?”

“Lena Luthor is on my couch, using words like ‘shall’.” Kara Zor-El grinned and leaned in, slow and savoring the certainty of it. When they parted for air, she held her girlfriend’s eyes. “Now,” she said firmly, “I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer about game night, Lena.”

Lena's smile blended with a smirk. “You’re enjoying saying my name, aren't you, Kara?”

“Game night, _Lena.”_

Lena giggled. “Count me in. When, Kara?”

“Tomorrow at seven … Lena.”

* * *

“Do your friends know I'll be here?”

Kara grinned. “No. You’re a surprise.”

“Alright, then. Do you want me to call you ‘K-Zors' in front of them?”

“I’d like that to stay our thing for now,” Kara replied, squeezing Lena's hand. “Stick with ‘Kara’.”

Soon after, the first knock came at the door. Kara climbed out of the couch to let Alex in, then handed over her leather jacket. “Thanks for lending me this. You can have it back.”

“Thanks. Wait.” Alex eyed her. “Does this mean …?”

Kara smiled and turned towards the living room. Lena Luthor, in jeans and a National City University sweater, rose from the couch and headed for them. “Alex Danvers, it’s good to meet you again.”

Alex looked Lena up and down. “She’s wearing your sweater.”

“She was holding my hand earlier, too,” Kara said, smirking.

“I know how much it means,” Lena said with genuine warmth, “to have an adoptive older sibling. Thank you for everything you've done for Kara.”

“She’s really good at this,” Alex said to Kara, not taking her eyes off of Lena.

Kara had an idea. “That thing we just talked about?” She winked at her girlfriend.

Alex narrowed her eyes. “What thing you just talked about?”

Lena looked at Kara and furrowed her brow. “Is she always like this, K-Zors?”

_“K-Zors?!”_

Kara and Lena almost died laughing.

When the couple finally settled and dried their eyes, Alex smiled. She set her jacket down and held out her arms. “Welcome to the family, Lena.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've all enjoyed the ride :) Do leave comments, I love reading them!


	13. Alternate Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this early on in the development of the story, before I started writing the conflict. When I got into that, I decided to take the story in a different direction and left this unfinished. Still, it's fun, so I wanted to share it with you :)
> 
> To be clear, this is a deleted scene, not a deleted chapter.

Supergirl had a date with Lena Luthor at six. Kara spent all day looking forward to it – until Lena called. _“Hi, Kara. Can you drop by my office between five-thirty and six?”_ ~~~~

“Uh …”

_“I won’t keep you long. I just want to ask you something.”_

“Um … yes, of course. I'll be there as close to five-thirty as I can.”

_“Wonderful. I can't wait to see you.”_

“Aww, thanks, Lena. I'm always happy to see you, too.”

_“Have a good afternoon, Kara.”_

“Bye.”

_“Bye.”_

* * *

When Kara Danvers entered her office, Lena was already on the couch and already dressed for her date. Kara had to remind herself she was a friend and should focus on Lena's eyes, not the curves shaping her utterly perfect black dress. “Have a seat,” Lena said. Something about her smile made Kara think of a cat stalking a bird. As Kara sat, Lena picked up her phone. She opened her contacts list, scrolled to the bottom, and tapped the last entry. ‘K. Zor-El’ popped up on the screen. She showed it to Kara. “That’s Supergirl,” Kara said quietly. As she watched, Lena deleted the contact. Kara bit back a gasp.

Lena laid the phone in the middle of the chessboard and settled into the couch again, closer to Kara than before and with one arm behind her. “When Supergirl gave me her number,” she said softly, “she told me the ‘K’ stood for ‘Krypton’. It doesn’t, does it?”

Kara stared, unable to breathe or form words.

Lena leaned closer, eyes dipping to Kara's lips and back. Her voice came in a whisper. _“’K’ stands for ‘Kara’.”_

* * *

“Why did you decide not to wait for me to tell you?”

“You had a reason for not telling me, but knowing your identity made it moot. Without my own reason not to tell you, for your sake, I couldn’t keep it from you.”

Kara nodded. “I understand.” She smiled. “And I am _not_ disappointed.”

Lena smirked. “I almost went to your apartment to tell you, but I decided on a gentler approach.”

“And more seductive,” Kara observed.

Lena laughed. “After all of your one-liners, I couldn’t help myself.”

“When did you figure me out?”

“Only yesterday. When we started, I swore to myself not to try to identify you, but my unconscious figured it out on its own.”

“How? Was it something I said?”

“Two things you said. First, when I asked for your first initial, you gave me ‘K’ for ‘Krypton’. That implied that you didn’t want me to know what it was. Then, you told me your childhood nickname was ‘K-Zors', which meant your first initial actually was ‘K’. Who do I know with a name that starts with ‘K’, blonde hair, and a high opinion of me? I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it sooner.”

Kara ducked her head. “It sounds really obvious when you put it like that.”

Lena smiled. “You did enough to get us started, Kara.”

“Is there anything you want to ask me?”

“Well ...” Lena smirked. “What are you going to do with your new clothes?”

Kara laughed. “I’m giving Alex her leather jacket back, but I’ve grown attached to some of the rest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you got a kick out of that. To all of you who read and especially those who commented, thank you again :)


End file.
